As you have no doubt heard by now, the Angels have traded useful parts Mike Napoli and Juan Rivera to the Blue Jays for Vernon Wells and his hulking, cumbersome contract forged in the wild of Canada. To say the least, it’s an inexplicable deal from the Halos’ standpoint.
And this brings us to the mostly piqued commenters at Halos Heaven. Understandably, they are not pleased. And to best capture their displeasure, I’m going to brazenly steal this beautiful idea from Royals Review.
So what comes out of the sausage-maker if we concoct a poem using nothing more than the comment headlines found within the Halos Heaven thread linked above? I’ve rearranged the order, capitalized in places and tweaked punctuation, but otherwise the words are all theirs. By the way, I do this in empathy, not mockery …
A Poem About the Vernon Wells Trade
I got a $500 disablity check but today still sucks.
I already drank with friends.
It keeps going back and forth between none, some, none … roller coaster.
I don’t really care if people like other teams.
Joe f*cking Saunders has a great smile.
Mathis has a chisled face and looks great in a uniform.
If you see a guy in an Angels hat and crying in Atlanta …
Oh please oh please oh please oh please, let there be money involved!
I got up to eat dinner with the wife and come back to find out NO cash involved.
I honestly thought we were trying to free up $30 mil/yr for Pujols.
Does this mean no Albert Pujols?
This is a “Three’s Company” episode where it’s all just a misunderstanding.
I actually don’t want to be a fan of this team anymore.
And now we’re back to nothing.
F*ck the penguins.
Call me crazy, but this trade makes us better.
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