The Ballad of Jeff Francoeur

Well, he came up and hit .432
For a month his talent looked so true
And there’s always hope when you’re brand new
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

And he did not walk but he tried real hard
And as long as hits escaped the yard
He still deserved a baseball card
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

When you still don’t walk and your average falls
And you swing at all of the pitcher’s balls
It shouldn’t be a shock when your progress stalls
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

So the Braves said bye and he joined the Mets
And for quite a while there were no regrets
But soon enough, doubters won their bets
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

It was no shock when the Royals called
And into the lineup he was installed
Another good start, the GM was enthralled
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

The press he gets is second-to-none
If smiles counted, he’d be number one
But if you look at the stats, he seems kinda done
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

Oh, lefties he hits and balls he can throw
And maybe just maybe his patience will grow
He’ll suck someone in and he’ll put on a show
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

Then fifty games later, the luster will fade
He’ll go 0-for-40, they’ll look for a trade
Another team desperate, and they will be swayed
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur

Repeat it again, he’s still young, there’s still hope
Will he turn it around? Smart money says nope
Declining skills are a slippery slope
This is the ballad
Of Jeff Francoeur



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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Yazoo Bob
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Yazoo Bob

Best sung to Bryan Adams’ Summer of 69.

Lane Rizzardini
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Lane Rizzardini

Holy crap spot on.

Joel
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Joel

Damn. Point. Song is now lodged in my brain.

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