The Booing and Cheering of Alex Rodriguez: A New York Times Comment Section Analysis

Alex-Rodriguez-April-2009-D

The New York Times has an article this week, titled, “Boo Rodriguez or Cheer Him? It’s Oh So Complicated.” The article is a fine read, but what I found surprisingly compelling were the comments at the bottom. Here are my favorite five, ranked. (I’m editing the comments for length.)

5. “I wonder why we go after PED users only, when there is a whole class of baseball cheaters who go unpunished, namely, pitchers who have bionic arms. A high percentage of pitchers make no attempt to hide that they have elective surgery to strengthen their pitching arms…. It’s called Tommy John surgery.”

4. “hey rod. if you are reading these comments, i really need a million dollars. or 1/2 or a 1/4 million. please get in touch. in exchange, i promise not to boo. ever. seriously.”

3. “A-Fraud shouldn’t be playing professional Baseball…. That said, Bankees fans only care about winning. Look at the rise and fall and rise of Jason Giambi. For that matter, look who’s pitching for them every fifth day, another self-admitted drug-cheat, Andy PEDitte.”

2. “A-Rod has no class. He is not the first cheater in baseball and won’t be the last. Probably not the worst either.
He is not the devil incarnate…. I’m sick of hearing about him. And also about Weiner the Wiener Waver.”

1. “And what about MLB’s major sponsor: Gatorade? They claim that just drinking their sugar-water enhances performance, and they use droves of pro-sports role models to peddle their crap in flashy advertisements.”




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


12 Responses to “The Booing and Cheering of Alex Rodriguez: A New York Times Comment Section Analysis”

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  1. Rich Mahogany says:

    Personally, I want to hear about those identical twins.

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  2. Anon says:

    Gatorade? They claim that just drinking their sugar-water enhances performance

    Teams are pumping their players full of PEDs (performance enhancing drinks)!!

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  3. olethros says:

    How Jesus Can Save Your Career?!

    We’re all fucking doomed.

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    • Lenard says:

      It’s really quite simple, actually. Get your company to hire Jesus and magically you’re not the worst employee there!

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    • Rick says:

      You’re trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?

      +9 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • agam22 says:

      Well, if you’re a mediocre catcher near the end of the road, struggling to hang on and your team trades for Jesus Montero to compete with you for the back-up job, Jesus will probably at least temporarily save your career

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. jcxy says:

    Is #5 up there because you’re amused that they can’t tell the difference between using steroids and having a ligament replaced or because they used “bionic” incorrectly?

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    • jcxy says:

      Because, of course, we all remember the 1991 Mathnet novella “The Case of the Unnatural” where a draft prospect was replaced with a robot. Or guy with a mechanical arm. I forget the details, but yeah, I think that laid out the future groundwork for Selig dealing with bionic players.

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  5. Tim says:

    I didn’t even know there was a Derails magazine, but A-Rod certainly is an appropriate cover boy.

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  6. Taft's wild pitch says:

    Tobias your name is glorious. Well done

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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