The Brewers’ “Jack Moore Problem”

I am a Cardinals fan. Our own Jack Moore is a Brewers fan. These are well and good facts and signifiers of a healthy Republic. Still, these allegiances have put us at cross purposes this season, despite the NotGraphs ties — sexy, buckled latex ties — that bind.

Generalissimo Cistulli is fond of calling Mr. Moore “America’s Kid Brother,” but of late I sense a darker side to Jackie Hazelnuts — a side that will be laid bare by the following exchange of Twitter Tweets. I present this unfortunate brannigan with a touch of formality that will call to mind either an Ionesco playscript or Atticus Finch cross-examination of titillating righteousness …

@daynperry Does anyone really doubt that the Brewers will win tonight?

@jh_moore Suck it, Perry. RT @daynperry: Does anyone really doubt that the Brewers will win tonight?

@daynperry @jh_moore I vaguely compliment your team’s hot streak, and that’s the thanks I get?

@jh_moore @daynperry Apparently.

@daynperry @jh_moore You just cost the Brewers the vastly more lucrative People’s Championship.

@jh_moore @daynperry I thought Nyjer Morgan did that a long time ago.

If you know nothing else about our traffic-contriving strategies here at NotGraphs, please know that a Call-to-Action Poll is forthcoming forthwith …

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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

5 Responses to “The Brewers’ “Jack Moore Problem””

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  1. I voted for Nyjer Morgan. Is he still in the league?

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  2. Lony TaRussa says:

    I once witnessed Nyjer Morgan signal how many outs there were in the vague direction of the crowd in San Francisco. He is truly a monster.

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  3. Crpls says:

    When in doubt, always vote against the thing/person vaguely related to Tony LaRussa.

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  4. Telo says:

    “Nyjer Morgan has destroyed them”

    I am so glad this option is in last. T-Plush is at WORST in the top 3 most entertaining things on a baseball field these days, in a dogfight with Roy Halladay pitching and the Jose Bautista laser show.

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    • juan pierre's mustache says:

      perhaps the point was that tony plush has destroyed the brewers’ hopes of winning as he intends to strike out on his own and go for a solo victory

      Vote -1 Vote +1

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