The Charlie Manuel-Charlie Manuel Duel

Phillies manager Charlie Manuel is known in proper quarters as “Uncle History,” and there’s a reason for this. The reason is that Charlie Manuel is history made noble savage. Charlie Manuel, you see, will use the tools of rational inquiry to rebuild your transmission …

Charlie Manuel vs. Charlie Manuel

As you can see, in the morning mists of July 11, 1804 at Weehawken, New Jersey, Charlie Manuel was felled by Charlie Manuel. The fatal hostilities traced back the Senatorial election of 1891, in which Charlie Manuel defeated the father-in-law of Charlie Manuel. From that point forward, Charlie Manuel relentlessly feuded with Charlie Manuel, often over the direction of the Charlie Manuel’s (and, by extension, Charlie Manuels’) Federalist Party. It all grimly culminated in Charlie Manuel’s sanctioned murder of Charlie Manual, all as a number of Charlie Manuels and at least one wet nurse looked on in mute disbelief. “Got damn,” the lot of them muttered in unison, most especially the assailant and victim, who have each been identified as Charlie Manuel.

Charlie Manuel is Uncle History.




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5 Responses to “The Charlie Manuel-Charlie Manuel Duel”

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  1. tylersnotes says:

    fact: charlie manuel was the inspiration for popular comic book anti-hero Wolverine. Unburdened by mortality or the passage of time, prone to fits of anger, spent formative years dismantling the yakuza in Japan, prone to colorfully anachronistic turns of phrase such as calling others “Bub”. The similarities don’t end there.

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  2. KM says:

    You know, like, that’s a pretty good post and things like that, and you know, like at the same time, I was laughing pretty good there too.

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  3. Mr. Observant, Herstory Student says:

    Meh – not enough ninjas. Also, Pocahontas and Riddick from the Chronicles of Riddick might have featured more
    prominently in this otherwise decent bit of narrative. But where does this fit into the historiography of Early American Manuelism? And isn’t this a very “Great White Men of History’ interpretation of said encounter? Also, why is the wetnurse being stripped of her agency? And, hopefully, her bodice?

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  4. The Return of Rambo Diaz says:

    What was the name of the wet nurse?

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  5. Yazoo Bob says:

    Foul!. Obviously, Charlie Manuel’s fondling of Charlie Manuel’s thigh distracted Charlie Manuel, causing Charlie Manuel to miss, resulting in Charlie Manuel’s untimely demise.

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