The Internet, She Loves Us x3

There are days when the internet doesn’t provide much joy and I start to think maybe I’m spending too much time in front of a computer screen — that I need to learn more about the different species of birds in my area or maybe finally learn to do a cartwheel or something. Then days like today happen, and I know that I was wrong about the internet. She loves us, she provides for us, and she brings us what we demand:

1. How Many Altuves? is a website designed to measure things in Altuves, which is how I will be measuring everything in my life from now on. For the record, a blue whale is 14.76 Altuves, my couch is 1.66 Altuves, and a trip around the bases is 66.46 Altuves. My heart is an infinite number of Altuves, running like hamsters on a wheel and keeping the blood running through my veins.

2.

“I’m talking Saberhagen in an odd numbered year”

3. And something I miraculously managed to miss last week: the Rays dressed up like “nerds” in honor of Ken Rosenthal.

Don’t you get the feeling that entire Rays team is just having more fun in general than adults are supposed to be allowed to have? Nerd Matt Moore: Call me.