The Many Faces of Ryan Braun, Artist

“I’m one of the league leaders in confidences. If I perform like I’ve always done, I’ll be one of the best players in this game. I don’t need any added motivation of drama at work. I’ll just let my work speak for itself, as every artist should.” – Ryan Braun, to USA Today’s Bob Nightengale

I can’t help admiring the kind of chutzpah it takes to essentially place yourself among the greats. To speak out, and through the power of your utterance to declare yourself the equal of the truly honored and revered. I speak, of course, of your Angelos, Michelled. Your Brandts, Remmed. Your Shias, LaBeofed. I wish I had that kind of self-assuredness, and the talent to presumably back it up.

I speak not, of course, of Braun’s baseball talent, which has been highly evident since the artist was a young man, a portrait of which he has graciously provided for us:

Braun Portrait

Instead, I speak of the artist he has become over the years. The master we all admire for his daring creative spark, and relentless pursuit of the truths that are revealed through his fine work. Indeed, so prolific and versatile is he that I am often at a loss to say which is my favorite period and medium of Ryan Braun, artist.

Is it his turn as a performance artist, recreating Marina Abramovic’s The Artist Is Present?

Ryan Braun, performance artist

Is it his insistence, as a conceptual artist, that we contend with his entire essence as simultaneously artist and art?

Ryan Braun, Conceptual Artist

Could it be his unique cataloguing of the culture that simultaneously debases us and which we debase as America’s foremost pop artist?

Ryan Braun, Pop Artist

Or is it as an America’s most approachable landscape artist, teaching the masses the joy of creation with each brushstroke and little happy tree that goes right here that I revere most?

Ryan Braun, Landscape Arist

No, that’s not it. For, first and foremost, I am a red-blooded American man. And, as such, above all else, I am hungry. So it is as a sandwich artist, fixing me my Subway Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt that I love him best and most of all.

Ryan Braun, Sandwich Artist

Thank you, Ryan Braun. Thank you for your sandwiches that have transformed my consciousness and fundamentally altered the way I look at the world.*

*Note, this post has not been sponsored by Subway. However, for future reference, I’m  not above that sort of thing.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman


6 Responses to “The Many Faces of Ryan Braun, Artist”

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  1. scatterbrian says:

    Judging from those photoshopping skills, I think we know who the real artist is…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. tz says:

    “Now for a happy little cloud right here, lets mix just a little cerulean blue with some andro white….”

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. The Return of Rambo Diaz says:

    Thoughts on Subway’s Big Pastrami Melt, Mike?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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