The MLB.com Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

It may have come to your attention by now that some women like baseball. This is a fact that, although still often expressed as an exclamation of surprise, has actually been true for the last 100+ years. Maybe you even have a woman that likes baseball in your life? Lucky you! MLB.com and I have some suggestions for you regarding this upcoming Valentine’s day. If your [girlfriend, wife, sister, sister-wife] doesn’t care for the greatest game on earth? Find one that does*.

* JK!!!!!! That’d be a pretty dumb reason to leave a nice girl and besides, sometimes it’s fun to have your own interests instead of shared ones — like my interest in Ryan Gosling.

MLB.com says that this pink Boston Red Sox yoga mat is “perfect for female fans” and I can’t help but agree. I know that when I’m downward facing dogging it, I’m looking for a pastel rouge at my feet, hawaiian flowers, and the logo of my favorite baseball team. There’s all kinds of other uses for a yoga mat as well — your girl may be able to use hers the way I use mine, as a “decoration” in the corner of the room collecting dust and whispering at her while she’s playing Skyrim instead of using the AM/PM Yoga DVD she bought one night in a fit of un-self-awareness.

If your lady is sporting one of these, you might want to ask her where she got it. The good news is, in that you’re-sleeping-with-everyone-your-partner-has-ever-slept-with STD awareness way, you may have totally done it with Lyla Garrity!

Is your wife as unhappy as you are about the color scheme of the new Miami Marlins logo? No worries, just pretend it’s in pink! Now everyone’s happy, because women can never have enough clothes that are the exact same color as pepto-bismol.

This Houston Astros throw is on sale, y’all. Hint, Hint. I can’t wait to snuggle up with this in the wee small hours of February 14. Women obviously want to feel desired on V-day, and I think we all know there’s nothing sexier than yards and yards of Astros fleece.

In seriousness, if you have a female baseball fan to shop for, there is cool stuff out there, but mostly it’s vintage. I like the vintage Dairy Queen softball or baseball jersey pictured above, the offical reproduction AAGPBL uniforms, this weirdly great Red Sox straw hat, or this vintage-repro Cuban baseball poster. Girls: they’re just like us!




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Summer Anne Burton is a writer and illustrator living in Austin, Texas. She is drawing pictures of Every Hall of Famer.


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Carson Cistulli
Admin
Member
4 years 6 months ago

Fact: women LOVE Pepto-Bismol.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
4 years 6 months ago

Oh my god. You just won Notgraphs. Also, I have a female in my life who would very very much (and totally non-ironically) LOVE the Astros fleece.

ichabod
Guest
ichabod
4 years 6 months ago

Can we send the Miami Marlins “valentines” logo to Loria? Just as a reminder to him that, yes, it does look better like this.

Dara
Guest
Dara
4 years 6 months ago

eBay also tells me that the Detroit Tigers are either the official team of the exotic-dance industry, or the only team no exotic dancer wants to rep. There are no other explanations for why there are two of these on sale but none for other teams.

nubillybaroo
Guest
nubillybaroo
4 years 6 months ago

Joe D. was pissed when that picture came to light, especially when he found out Bobby Kennedy took it… naked.

MikeS
Guest
MikeS
4 years 6 months ago

In the top pick, why is the catcher wearing a road uni and the hitting instructor (?) wearing home whites?

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