The NotGraphs Guide To Making Your Own MLB Halloween Costume

Halloween is less than three weeks away, NotGraphers. Have you chosen a costume yet? If not, you are in luck. We’re here to advise you.

Vampires, witches, zombies, ghosts, mummies, and sexy nurses are all so passé, you see. It’s time to add some pizazz to your All Hallows’ Eve getup by going as your favorite MLB personality.

I have saved you the trouble of going out of your way (to that seedy seasonal Halloween store in the bombed out shopping center in the building where the Blockbuster Video used to be with that cashier with his forehead pierced) by listing the necessary components for each respective costume along with links to online stores from which they can be purchased. Mindful of our tough economic times, these costumes are carefully constructed to cost you no more than $100 (before shipping).

Brian Wilson:


Brian Wilson Shirsey: $36.99

San Francisco Giants Adjustable Hat: $17.99

Fake Beard & Mustache: $2.71

Add temporary tattoos and amphetamines for full effect.

CC Sabathia:


CC Sabathia Shirsey: $36.99

New York Yankees Adjustable Hat: $17.99

McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger: 45 @ $1.00 = $45.00

Dan Uggla:


Atlanta Braves Adjustable Hat: $17.99

Atlanta Braves Toddler Replica Jersey: $44.99

Alex Rodriguez


Alex Rodriguez Shirsey: $36.99

New York Yankees Adjustable Hat: $17.99

KA’OIR By Keyshia Dior Rude Girl Purple Lipstick: $15.99

Inflatable Judy Doll: $16.99

Steve Bartman:


Chicago Cubs Adjustable Hat: $17.99

Green Neck Warmer: $19.95

Wire Rim Reading Glasses: $11.99

On-Ear Headphones: $4.54

Add mitt for full effect.

Dick Allen


Flapless Phillies Batting Helmet: $54.99

Afro + Chops Wig: $8.79

Assorted Mustaches: $9.95

Half Frame Wayfarer Glasses: $6.99

Add cigarette and .912 career OPS for full effect.

Bud Selig:

Scary Old Man Mask: $21.99

Add suit and behave in a perpetually confused manner for full effect.

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Eric writes about the Phillies at The Good Phight. Follow him on Twitter.

12 Responses to “The NotGraphs Guide To Making Your Own MLB Halloween Costume”

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  1. Kyle says:

    The purple lipstick is a stroke of genius.

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  2. scout1222 says:

    Please, will some NotGrapher do the Dick Allen idea and submit a photo in the same pose as we see on the literature entries! That would be awesome.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. JohnnyBGoode says:

    Josh Beckett Shirsey: $36.99

    Boston Red Sox Adjustable Hat: $17.99

    Bucket of fried chicken: $10

    XBOX 360 Controller: $37

    Samuel Adams 6 Pack: $13

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  4. buddy says:

    You can’t really dress as A-Rod unless you have a friend to play the hind legs.

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  5. $36.99 for a Shirsey is preposterous. #justsaying #oldpeople

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  6. glassSheets says:

    If you had a frend willing to go as Moises Alou that could really add to the Bartman gear. Although convincing your friend he needs to urinate on his hands otherwise he won’t be convincing would be a tough sell.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Bryz says:

      After a few drinks in your buddy, you won’t even need to convince him to pee on his hands. He’ll just accidentally do it anyway while he’s in the bathroom!

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  7. Wisefather says:

    Those are some great options. Many people look for Halloween costume ideas, but I have put together a list of fun things to do with your Halloween costumes even after October 31st. If you have your own funny ideas I would love to hear them.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Choo says:

    Dan Uggla: Atlanta Braves Toddler Replica Jersey.


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