The NotGraphs Quiz

Studies I don’t feel like citing show that numbers are irresistible. The real world, with all its relative values and subjectivity, is undeniably terrifying. Put a number on something, however, and all your problems are solved.

That 90 bestowed on your bottle of pinot noir will tell you exactly how much you’re going to enjoy its tones of cherry and sandalwood. That 4.2 rating you saw on the internet will inform you exactly how competent you’ll find your sweater-clad Lit professor. A quick trip to his player page will demonstrate exactly what it feels like to watch Luis Valbuena play baseball. All these draining uncertainties in life, all this tiresome effort of developing your own opinions and feelings, get stripped away in a couple of digits. Truly, this is the best of all possible worlds.

Now I offer you an opportunity to quantify your love for our very own site, via this arbitrary and ridiculous Sporcle quiz. Prove to the world your appreciation for the NotGraphs #brand. Escape the soul-shearing ennui of your daily experience for up to six minutes, and then compare yourself to your peers through a number that, as well as anything else, represents your value to society and to the people you love. Select a question and answer each with open eyes and pure heart. And don’t cheat, or Banknotes Harper will turn you into shitty burgers.

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Patrick Dubuque writes for NotGraphs and The Hardball Times, and he served as former Bill Spaceman Lee Visiting Professor for Baseball Exploration at Pitchers & Poets. Follow him on Twitter @euqubud.

24 Responses to “The NotGraphs Quiz”

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  1. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    11/26. I am embarrassed.

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  2. MikeS says:

    8/26. I started off strong with 7 of the first eight, but then I panicked and only got the last one, which is a gimme.

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  3. Frank says:


    I Spelled (NAME REMOVED BY ADMINISTRATOR) wrong, attempted to insert the (FRUIT REMOVED BY ADMINISTRATOR).
    Very disappointed at the lack of questions about Cameronian Blink Rate

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  4. dst says:

    10/26, better than I expected. Is it odd that I experienced a non-insignificant feeling of pride upon instantly recalling who was nicknamed Hot Lettuce?

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    • Bryz says:

      Same here, but I was also the one that first requested “Hot Lettuce” for Nickname Seeks Player.

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      • AC of DC says:

        I knew it was a bearded catcher, but I blanked on which one. I am satisifed with my 10/26, since I consider myself somewhat less NotGraphs than most of the commentariat.

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  5. Currently, two of the 26 questions remain, collectively, unanswered. In the meantime, we wait for a hero to appear.

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  6. Hitler But Sadder says:

    I was shit 10/26

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  7. jcxy says:


    And if I’m being honest, I wrote “Icehouse” for the Thayer question which I feel like is partial credit worthy.

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  8. Johnny Guitar says:

    Would have been 11 had I not mispelled Appelman and figured I had misremembered.

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    • Roark says:

      I’m with you. David “Appleman” is not the owner of FanGraphs, must just be another one of the loneliest people in the world.

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  9. annoying wino says:

    Isn’t it supposed to be “Pinot noir”–the Pinot capitalized, the noir descriptor lowercase?

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  10. a eskpert says:

    9/26! I’m a genius! If being a genius involved wasting precious life-time-minutes on humorous website that I had pledged to forgo in lieu of a more traditional lenten abstinence.

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  11. KB says:

    NotGraphs has changed a bit since the Appelman Era.

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  12. heroin-and-puppies says:

    Been lurking here a little while, obviously need to step up my #want

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