Studies I don’t feel like citing show that numbers are irresistible. The real world, with all its relative values and subjectivity, is undeniably terrifying. Put a number on something, however, and all your problems are solved.
That 90 bestowed on your bottle of pinot noir will tell you exactly how much you’re going to enjoy its tones of cherry and sandalwood. That 4.2 rating you saw on the internet will inform you exactly how competent you’ll find your sweater-clad Lit professor. A quick trip to his player page will demonstrate exactly what it feels like to watch Luis Valbuena play baseball. All these draining uncertainties in life, all this tiresome effort of developing your own opinions and feelings, get stripped away in a couple of digits. Truly, this is the best of all possible worlds.
Now I offer you an opportunity to quantify your love for our very own site, via this arbitrary and ridiculous Sporcle quiz. Prove to the world your appreciation for the NotGraphs #brand. Escape the soul-shearing ennui of your daily experience for up to six minutes, and then compare yourself to your peers through a number that, as well as anything else, represents your value to society and to the people you love. Select a question and answer each with open eyes and pure heart. And don’t cheat, or Banknotes Harper will turn you into shitty burgers.
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