The Ringtone That Made Me a Better Man

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a good man. I am scarcely a man at all. The only time I demonstrate the steadfastness typically associated with archetypal man is when my full complement of vices is challenged by those circumstantially invested in my survival and or continued employment. That is to say, if you’re looking for a man, then cast thine eyes elsewhere. No, not upon Cistulli and his wrists of cooked pasta.

With all that said, foulest poo — thanks to its grim baseline — can easily be improved upon, and in keeping with this general principle it is worth noting that a ringtone has demonstrably made me a better man. You see, I was weary of the old default-settings ringtone of my Battery-Powered Mobile Business Handheld Cellular Telephone, much as I am weary of my dumb face and essence. The ringtone, though, I could do something about.

Thanks to an app called Ringdroid, which is possibly favored by pregnant teens and their baggy pants and rap-hop music and krokodil habits, I was able to make a ringtone out of any old audio file. As for the interface, even a moaning dolt with hot dog fingers can use it.

For the sound in question that is now my Business Ringtone I chose this, which is a series of professional utterances first celebrated on the august pages of Eye On Baseball

You may not call me, but if you ever did, then this is what I would hear. And I am the better for it. Barely.

Print This Post

Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

7 Responses to “The Ringtone That Made Me a Better Man”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. jwise224 says:

    More of these, Dayn. More of these.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Shabaz says:

    This can be done without the need for downloading any additional software by using iTunes:
    • Download/save the file you want as your ringtone to your computer & open it in iTunes
    • Right-click on the file and select ‘Get Info’ then click on the ‘Options’ tab and adjust the start & stop time of the file (less than 30 secs)
    • Once you’ve got it just the way you want it, right-click again on the file and select ‘Create AAC Version’, which will create a new file of the file you just edited
    • Right-click on the newly created file and ‘Save as’ the file to the ringtone format you need, so for an iPhone save as ‘Example.m4r’ or whatever format your phone requires

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. MikeS says:

    Not “You gotta be bleepin’ me?”

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Scott G says:

    “Cooked pasta wrists”. I laughed yet I’ve never met Mr Cistulli

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Skinless Frank says:

    Krokidil is the bomb, yo!

    Vote -1 Vote +1