The Ron Swanson Baseball Hall of Fame Official Election Results

It’s that time again. The time where I get to write one last post about the Ron Swanson Baseball Hall of Fame and then am forced to think of new and original posts for this godforsaken website, rather than just keep running variations on the same thing over and over. Honestly, I don’t think any of us are going to get what we want out of our time together going forward. After all, Notgraphs has been reduced to whatever this is, jokes about France, and is kept afloat practically singlehandedly by the diminishing returns offered by David Temple. And next week it’s back to Back In the Game recaps for me. Because I hate myself and you.

So let us revel one last time in the glory of Ron Swanson, patron saint of all that is worthwhile, and his acolytes, who were decided upon by you, the masses, like this was some kind of homecoming election. Once again, you have correctly identified and chosen to recognize the most popular, beautiful, and athletic people in your class. Congratulations to you, you sheep, you have confirmed my worst thoughts about you.

The leading vote getter was…

VeeckBill Veeck (134 votes)

Wait, Bill Veeck? Way to go you guys. I have to be honest, I typed out the previous two paragraphs days ago, in anticipation of this moment. But you guys did a hell of a job, picking a man who embodies the can-do, don’t-trust-the-man, tough-as-nails, woodworking spirit of Ron Swanson, though without the mustache and the seriousness. I’m a big enough man to admit I was wrong about you. Though, in reality, it was the vibe you all gave off, meaning my mistake was ultimately your fault. Do something about that, willya?

Other inductees include:

George Herman “Baby” Ruth (133 votes)

Ted Williams (119 votes)

Wade Boggs (117 votes)

and just squeaking in above the 75 percent threshold:

Satchel Paige (101 votes)

They join Old Hoss Radbourn, Ty Cobb, Nolan Ryan, Jeff Bagwell, and Lou Gehrig in receiving baseball’s highest fictional honor based on a fictional person. ¬†Good job everybody. See you back here in another couple years, when I run out of ideas for what to write about again.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman


3 Responses to “The Ron Swanson Baseball Hall of Fame Official Election Results”

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  1. cass says:

    How many of these guys were headhunters who pitched perfect games while taking LSD? I scoff at your voters.

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