The Sad State of Ricky Nolasco’s Season

From Rotoworld:

nolasco

Number of strikeouts Nolasco has had in previous starts:

3/31: -1

4/6: The number of moons orbiting the Earth, minus 3

4/12: Prince Fielder’s batting average minus Prince Fielder’s listed weight

4/18: Prince Fielder’s batting average minus Prince Fielder’s actual weight

4/24: Derek Jeter’s OPS+ minus 100

5/2: The number of fans the Braves are hoping to attract to their new ballpark who actually live in the city of Atlanta

(more negative numbers are welcome in the comments)



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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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@ositf_blog
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The number of pageviews my blog gets.

John Paschal
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The number of times I came up with a good response to this challenge.

John Elway
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Tim Tebow’s career QB rating.

The Return of Rambo Diaz
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The Return of Rambo Diaz

The number of Aqua Velva Men left in baseball today.

Larry Walker
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Larry Walker

The number of times Banknotes Harper has awoke in bed with two or more high-quality Tijuana hookers, the two front teeth of AJ Pierzynski in a jar next to the bed labeled “Property of None of Your Damn Business!”, a harpist (also a hooker) lightly drumming “Back in Black,” and thought “Damn! I do not have an impressively engorged tool that attracts women from across the globe and can flip tables when I stand up!”

mjiop22
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mjiop22

Bryce Harper’s age minus LaTroy Hawkins’ age.

deathring109
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deathring109

Miles Bartolo Colon ran yesterday minus the number of cheeseburgers he ate yesterday

Stinky Pete
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Stinky Pete

The number of Cubs, White Sox, Brewers, Twins, Royals and cardinal games available for viewing in Iowa on MLB.TV Minus the cost of one year of MLB.TV.

steve
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steve

Jedd Gyorko’s current WAR value.

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