The Song That Was Not, The Song That Was

The Internetting Gentleman may have encountered tawdry hearsay that the Miami Marlins, denizens of the Sunshine State, where everything — save for the weather, people, housing market, and milieu — is great, recently dropped a new theme song like something that is on the verge of scalding the very hands that bear it. Recognize:

But then the story, like an indolently raveled thing, began unraveling. The Marlins did not, in point of fact, grant their imprimatur to such a malodorous tune! Jeffrey Loria is a professional aesthete, so how, pray tell, would he green-light such an Up-With-Peopled mess?

Here’s how: the world is shit, and yet it manages to spin. This may not be the Marlins’ theme song, but, for me and mine — so all of us, really — this is the Marlins’ theme song.

In the Sunshine State, it turns out, everything is mothertrucking great.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

7 Responses to “The Song That Was Not, The Song That Was”

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  1. Dylan says:

    Not like it matters if they play it over the PA before and after their games because in August everyone in Miami will get bored of them…

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  2. The Marlins troll hard. Very, very hard.

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  3. MikeS says:

    I guess this might take people’s attention away from the awful unifroms.

    I hope Ozzie remembers that this is what he wanted.

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  4. tyler says:

    still better than the song scott stapp came up with

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  5. Yirmiyahu says:

    Three Things:

    1) Dayn, your “began unraveling” link isn’t to anything relevant.
    2) How can Loria deny that this song came from them, when this is a price auditory translation of that “home run feature”. Even before this song was released, this is the music that people with synesthesia heard when they saw That Thing In Centerfield.
    3) Has everyone heard this awful thing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fof40yqaW1U

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