The Spectrum of Spectacles: From Vance Worley to Kurt Russell

Here at NotGraphs, we have often tried to shine a light on how spectacles make the game of baseball better. How much better? Well, it’s hard to quantify. But I think it’s safe to say “lots.” They make baseball lots better.

But there is a spectrum of spectacles. On the one end are these monstrosities worn by Vance Worley, which understandably led to a 7.21 ERA and a 5.55 FIP for the Twins in 10 starts:


 Now compare them to these spectacles worn by Kurt Russell during his three seasons as a minor league second baseman baseball in the Angels’ system from 1971-1973:


No, those glasses did not lead to big league success (although Russell did hit a respectable .292/.361/.365). But they did lead to this:


And this:


And this:


And, most importantly, to this.


And aren’t we all better for it? A shame, in that last one, that his sight in that eye got so bad that he had to stop using it altogether.

Yes, that was a long walk for an eyepatch joke and Snake Plissken reference. But much like Snake himself, I don’t give a fuck about your long walks. What’s my point? Aside from the fact that Kurt Russell is awesome? Choose your eyewear carefully, my friends.

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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here:

2 Responses to “The Spectrum of Spectacles: From Vance Worley to Kurt Russell”

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  1. MickO says:

    Snake Plisskin? I thought he was dead.

    +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

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