The Spectrum of Spectacles: From Vance Worley to Kurt Russell

Here at NotGraphs, we have often tried to shine a light on how spectacles make the game of baseball better. How much better? Well, it’s hard to quantify. But I think it’s safe to say “lots.” They make baseball lots better.

But there is a spectrum of spectacles. On the one end are these monstrosities worn by Vance Worley, which understandably led to a 7.21 ERA and a 5.55 FIP for the Twins in 10 starts:

 Worley

 Now compare them to these spectacles worn by Kurt Russell during his three seasons as a minor league second baseman baseball in the Angels’ system from 1971-1973:

Russell

No, those glasses did not lead to big league success (although Russell did hit a respectable .292/.361/.365). But they did lead to this:

 Big-trouble-in-little-china-

And this:

 Thing

And this:

Tombstone_movie_poster

And, most importantly, to this.

 escape_new_york06

And aren’t we all better for it? A shame, in that last one, that his sight in that eye got so bad that he had to stop using it altogether.

Yes, that was a long walk for an eyepatch joke and Snake Plissken reference. But much like Snake himself, I don’t give a fuck about your long walks. What’s my point? Aside from the fact that Kurt Russell is awesome? Choose your eyewear carefully, my friends.



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Mike Bates co-founded The Platoon Advantage, and has written for many other baseball websites, including NotGraphs (rest in peace) and The Score. Currently, he writes for MLB Daily Dish on SB Nation. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter @MikeBatesSBN.


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MickO
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MickO

Snake Plisskin? I thought he was dead.

Snake Plissken
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Snake Plissken

Yeah, you and everybody else.

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