The Unfortunate Decisions of Mr. Werth

The astute and championship gentleman has at his disposal a broad menu of hairstyles appropriate for the merchant and bodice-ripper of distinction and breeding. Among these are the Tousled Authority, the Hesitating Delacroix, the Dead Christian, and, natch, the Hair-Fellow-Well-Met.

One will note, however, that Mr. Jayson Werth’s latest coif does not appear within our Manifest of Acceptables. Bear solemn witness …

Pictured abovely is a look known derisively throughout history as the “Señor Buttcheeks,” and it is to our national shame and injury that Mr. Werth has dragged it howling from the vaults. This, Mr. Werth, is why Oleg Cassini doesn’t come around much anymore.

(Giggly hair-pull: Nats Enquirer)




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


10 Responses to “The Unfortunate Decisions of Mr. Werth”

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  1. juan pierre's mustache says:

    i just assumed he was sponsored by adidas

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  2. TartanElk says:

    I hate to be the one to question your methods, Senor Perry, but aren’t those sideburns a greater sin against humanity? Dear lord.

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  3. Señor Buttcheeks says:

    I find that comparison to be insulting.

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  4. Mac says:

    Hmm, too late for Messr Werth to be added to those vying for the nickname Victorian Sex Rebel?

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  5. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Man, Delacroix knew where it’s at.

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  6. gosensgo101 says:

    One of his teammates’ wife must’ve convinced him it was a good look.

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