There’s a Dirty Joke in Here Somewhere


Come on, Temple, think. There’s a dirty joke in here somewhere. Come on! It’s posting time, gotta put something out there. This is an easy one. Think!

What, are you guys filming a porn in … no. That sucks. You can do better.

I bet your mom would like a hot blast of … BULLSHIT! This isn’t a rap battle between eighth graders! People will read this! OK, OK. Take a step back, let’s try to be a little more subtle.

Perhaps the gentlemen is merely practicing for when he comes in contact with a comely lady whilst on shore leave … OK, now you sound like Dayn Perry but with an even bigger learning disability.

You’ve written 259 posts for this site, not to mention the two that had to be taken down. You need to focus. Cistulli won’t put up with this when the season starts. BE. CREATIVE. YOU. PRICK.

Let’s deconstruct this. A guy is blasting something. There’s white stuff. The liquid is hot.

Hey, this team stinks enough as it is. Now I have to get a bukake … is that right? How do I not know what bukake means? Better Google it to make … JESUS CHRIST!

Screw it. Not posting today. I’ll come back tomorrow with fresh eyes. This is going to bug me, though. There’s a dirty joke in here somewhere.


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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

13 Responses to “There’s a Dirty Joke in Here Somewhere”

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  1. Mike Green says:

    The picture answers an important question which has been bothering fans for years: “where does Joe Mauer’s dandruff go after it leaves his head and shoulders?”

    +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. tz says:

    No dirty joke at all.

    Simply the enduring jets of Banknotes Harper’s Twin Cities legacy. The gift that keeps on giving.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Twins Attendance says:

    Ready for what?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Sam says:

    Doug Fister?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Boop says:

    How does anyone not know what bukake means?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Jaack says:

    He’s just really, really excited for Opening Day.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. Matt says:

    Minnesota stadium full of men spraying sticky white stuff 2 weeks before opening day, proving that watching grass grow IS more exciting than watching the Twins play.

    +11 Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Zappa says:

    It ain’t bad in the day, if they squirt it your way.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Carlton L Clark says:

    Wondering what Twins fans were doing in the seats 11 days before the home opener that required blasting the seats with hot water?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. Sven and Ole says:

    Here’s your joke: they’re gonna call the 2014 Twins an MLB club instead of AAAA.

    Vote -1 Vote +1