Things We Now Know about Kenny Williams

If you prefer your news to be five days old, then you’ll be gobsmacked to learn that White Sox GM Kenny Williams had his posh Chicago townhouse robbed and violated recently. This of course sounds like bad news, but thanks to the efforts of a certain plucky urchin we’ve learned a few things about Mr. Williams. To damn wit:

  • Mr. Kenny Williams drinks beer.
  • Mr. Kenny Williams enjoys the occasional lobster dinner, and, yes, you may box that up for him.
  • Mr. Kenny Williams owns a fur.
  • Mr. Kenny Williams drives a Cadillac.
  • Mr. Kenny Williams owns a fur and drives a Cadillac.
  • Mr. Kenny Williams will wear a championship ring even if it has recently been worn by a smelly hobo.
  • Mr. Kenny Williams does not have a record of “sexual abuse charges dating to the 1980s,” but SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN IN HIS HOUSE DOES.

The great Bill Veeck had a habit of referring to front-office execs as “operators.” In light of this and those, you may now regard Mr. Kenny Williams as a “smooth operator.”



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Yirmiyahu
Guest
Yirmiyahu

In contrast to these revelations about his suave lifestyle is the fact that he’s supposedly had a PB&J sandwich for lunch every day since becoming GM.

Kenny Williams, that is. Not the homeless dude.

Yirmiyahu
Guest
Yirmiyahu

Also, I was totally sympathizing with and rooting for the robber, until I saw his photo:

http://napervillesun.suntimes.com/photos/galleries/index.html?story=9008579

If that’s not the face of a man with “a history of arrests, including assault, indecent exposure and sexual abuse charges,” then I don’t know is.

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

“If that’s not the face of a man with “a history of arrests, including assault, indecent exposure and sexual abuse charges,” then I don’t know is.”

…hey! you’re right, he DOES kind of look like Randy Johnson!!

MikeS
Guest
MikeS

For some reason, the first time I clicked on that it went to a pic of Richard M Daley which would be absolutely hilarious if the pic wasn’t at his wife’s funeral.

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