Things You Can Apply for Online: Cubs P.A. Announcer Job

Do you have a voice as sweet as honey-baked ham sans ham, which I imagine would be quite sweet? (Food metaphor! … Actually, food simile, but rules of usage, much like parents, just don’t understand.) If that describes you and your pipes, then the Chicago Cubs are leveling their Uncle Sam-like pointer finger in your direction. That means they quite possibly want you!

Yes, the Cubs have teamed with, which is a computer Web site that helps you build your career, to find a a new public-address announcer. Some qualifications:

  • Strong vocal talent, excellent enunciation skills
  • Strong public speaking skills and ability to speak extemporaneously to large crowds
  • Strong knowledge of baseball
  • Must be available for all Chicago Cubs 81 regular season home games, makeup games, tie breaker games, play-off games and non-game day events. Schedule includes nights, weekends, non-traditional hours and holidays, as needed
  • Ability to work outdoors during periods of extreme weather
  • Prior experience working as a Public Address Announcer in collegiate or professional sports (television or radio preferred)
  • Interest in supporting Cubs’ community and charitable efforts a plus
  • If I were Rick Reilly, at this point I would include yuks like … “Preference given to those who are also left-handed relievers. Ha!” Or: “Don’t worry about the whole ‘play-off games’ part. Ha!” Or: “His doctor told him to play 36 holes a day, so he went out and bought a harmonica. Ha!”

    Instead, I’ll focus on the grim “periods of extreme weather” throwaway line and warn you that in Chicago we sometimes have … THUNDERSNOW!!!1!1!!!ONE!!1!


    But seriously, the Cubs are looking for a new P.A. announcer, and by using the interface you can —

    Shit: THUNDERSNOW!!!1!1!!!ONE!!1!

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    Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

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    Keep this up and your position will soon be on career builder.