Do you have a voice as sweet as honey-baked ham sans ham, which I imagine would be quite sweet? (Food metaphor! … Actually, food simile, but rules of usage, much like parents, just don’t understand.) If that describes you and your pipes, then the Chicago Cubs are leveling their Uncle Sam-like pointer finger in your direction. That means they quite possibly want you!
Yes, the Cubs have teamed with CareerBuilder.com, which is a computer Web site that helps you build your career, to find a a new public-address announcer. Some qualifications:
If I were Rick Reilly, at this point I would include yuks like … “Preference given to those who are also left-handed relievers. Ha!” Or: “Don’t worry about the whole ‘play-off games’ part. Ha!” Or: “His doctor told him to play 36 holes a day, so he went out and bought a harmonica. Ha!”
Instead, I’ll focus on the grim “periods of extreme weather” throwaway line and warn you that in Chicago we sometimes have … THUNDERSNOW!!!1!1!!!ONE!!1!
But seriously, the Cubs are looking for a new P.A. announcer, and by using the Careerbuilder.com interface you can —
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