Three Depressing Baseball Caps

Here are three depressing baseball caps.

The first one is of Kirk Cameron’s birthday party, which features Subway sandwiches — one already half-eaten by someone who, later that day, would receive a sobering diagnosis — and a shit cake. Looking on in mounting desolation are two female sales professionals and the lives and paneled office in which they are encased.

And this is a cap featuring the motorcar that euthanized Camus.

And here the hell is Larry the Cable Guy speaking at some presumable length, like Cicero before his tongue was tugged out and served as an antipasto, about the U.S. economy.

There exists a world in which entire television networks are devoted to the movement of currencies. There also exists a world in which at least one of these networks has invited Larry the Cable Guy to instruct the wrathful-upon-sofas as to what is wrong with what is wrong, insofar as quantitative easing and Keynesian multipliers are concerned.

Both worlds are ours. Hump us in the faces one and all, both worlds are ours.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


13 Responses to “Three Depressing Baseball Caps”

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  1. dp says:

    To be fair, Larry the Cable Guy explains the vagaries of Hayek’s The Road to Serfdom as well as Hayek did himself.

    That said, I find nothing more depressing than the current fashion trend of vaguely douchey faux hipsters rocking Montreal Expos caps from ca. 1981. Depressing people mindlessly wearing totems of a dead baseball team that I once watched with an outsider’s aplomb make me feel all stabby. Is this what you meant to evoke, Dayn? Because that’s what I feel. Bloodlust.

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  2. Chuck Hussel says:

    Stupidity, like Camus’ death trap, has a knack for getting its way. One must imagine Kirk Cameron happy, just as one imagines Larry the Cable Guy meeting death in the taut twine of autoerotic asphyxiation whilst watching ‘Earnest Scared Stupid.’

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  3. deadhead says:

    The “lady” pictured with Larry the Cable Guy really enjoyed his use of the invisible hand, if you know what I mean. Hiyooooo!

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  4. Bill says:

    What’s sad is that Larry the cable guy has a better understanding of economics than the majority of peope in Greece. Can’t wait to vacation there when it’s cheap as Africa.

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    • jcxy says:

      nonesense. greece is not only the birthplace of civilization, it’s civilization in it’s most fully actualized form. key points: never aspire to earn money, never pay more than $3k in taxes on money you actually do earn, borrow the rest to keep up the illusion of your lifestyle…retire at 60.

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  5. reillocity says:

    Depressing Baseball in Caps: MINNESOTA TWINS

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  6. deadhead says:

    Grease 2 is actually civilization in it’s most fully actualized form. Reproduction, anyone? I Want a Cool Rider? Bravo, Michelle Pfiefer and company, bravo.

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  7. Brian says:

    Pointless, pompously written “story” by Mr. Perry. Not only is the quality of this writing poor, but I am still trying to understand the overall intent of this post (as well as how it pertains to baseball). Commentary such as this, that really has no utility and is intended to derogate aspects of culture that a writer (term loosely applied here) does not appreciate has no place on a site that proffers facts.

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    • Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets says:

      These type of comments never get old on NotGraphs.

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    • dp says:

      Nietzsche’s follow-up to Thus Speaks Zarathustra was originally intended to be entitled Also sprach Die UnbewuƟt, an exploration of what happens when one wanders into an unfamiliar culture, makes the fatal mistake of mistaking the norms and attitudes of others as being monolithic and identical to one’s own, and starts ein Flammenkrieg, w/ predictably devastating results. Sadly, he abandoned his plans after a hundred pages or so in order to work on Beyond Good and Evil, leaving only an incomplete manuscript that was even more prescient than his predictions of European calamity in the 20th century. Oh, so much could have been avoided, Brian, if Nietzsche could have just put down the laudanum to finish. What could have been, indeed.

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  8. Also Depressing says:

    That “people” still use the word caps.

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