Tigers may trade Scherzer, Porcello, Jackson, Castellanos, Smyly this winter before cost skyrockets

scherz

So, CBS Sports reports that the Tigers may be shopping Max Scherzer this winter, apparently confused about the goal of baseball being to win games. But why stop there? Yes, Scherzer’s going to get expensive. But so are Rick Porcello, Austin Jackson, Nick Castellanos, Drew Smyly, and, uh, anyone else who is at one point young and then gets good. Yep, it’s those young, good, about-to-get-expensive players that are every team’s problem. Not the old guys you spent a lot of money on. Nope, those guys are great, up until they turn 60 or so, and their contracts end. You need more of them, and fewer guys like Scherzer, entering their prime and actually having the potential to earn back the money you need to pay to keep them.

IMAGE: Scherzer, in the uniform of his new team, the Accurate Accountants (that’s the “A”), who understand when you sign players to contracts and when you don’t.*

*I actually don’t mean to yell too loudly at the Tigers, because recent past decisions have not been particularly grotesque.




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


9 Responses to “Tigers may trade Scherzer, Porcello, Jackson, Castellanos, Smyly this winter before cost skyrockets”

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  1. Jim says:

    Just sayin’, the Brewers could use a Max Scherzer or Anibal Sanchez or [insert pitcher who is active and isn’t Freddy Garcia).

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  2. Hermie13 says:

    Scherzer is also going to get “about $20M” this winter too…cause that’s how arbitration works…

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    • Pirates Hurdles says:

      Yeah that made me chuckle in Knobler’s original piece. Yep, he’ll get a 300% raise in arbitration. Yep, an all-time record arbitration contract. guh.

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  3. Urban Shocker says:

    That hat is so great.

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  4. Prince Fielder says:

    Fat chance.

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  5. Pirates Hurdles says:

    I’m glad some well respected journalist has finally pointed out the idiocy of Danny Knobler’s article.

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