Today in Creepy Vintage Baseball-Themed Memorabilia: Fan & Fannie

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Fan and Fannie are the Base Ball Twins. They have heads shaped like baseballs, and torsos shaped like baseballs. They associate with tiny baseball-shaped clones, an ungendered baseball-shaped African-American, and his or her goat. They speak mostly in cryptic questions and unsettling innuendo. They will henceforth haunt your dreams, spring unbidden to your thoughts, and bring you profound existential discomfort. Otherwise, I cannot tell you anything at all about Fan and Fannie.

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Choo
Member

Oh my dear god. This is terrifying. Honestly, I haven’t been this scared in a long time. Does the cherubic baseball creature want to kill me or F me? Both? In what order?

Shin Soo Choo
Guest
Shin Soo Choo

Undoubtedly, it would hide in your closet and become your friend as it understands you whilest your old parents don’t understand that telling a teacher on your bully won’t help. Eventually, it will want you to murder old Mrs. Connor from down the block. She’s nice and all, but unfortunately she is a devil spawn who needs to be released from her eternal inferno. Your parents are next, but you will realize you kinda like your parents so you turn on the creature. Next thing you know, you are in some alternate universe and you have to fight the thing off with a jewel-encrusted sword that was given to you from your uncle who mysteriously dissapeared after murdering his children. You will stab the creature and throw it off a cliff, but the mountain will begin to crumble. You try to run away and almost fall off a rickety bridge, but your long-lost uncle saves you. You will survive, get back to your own dimension, and live happily ever after…or will you????

David G. Temple
Editor
Member

Does this remind anyone else of Pit Pat from Mr. Show? Or am I the only one who remembers that program?

agam22
Guest
agam22

PIT PAT! A magical non-threatening pansexual spokesthing!

Byrne
Guest
Byrne

Take it from me. I love you!

Kyle
Member

Ho.Ly.Shit.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity

Said cryptic questions and unsettling innuendo are sorely in need of being superimposed PNG-style over JPGs of modern-day MLBers.

Bradley Woodrum
Member
Member

MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!

Maggie
Guest
Maggie

This is indeed a very disturbing universe.

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant

Never before has Nietzsche’s profession that God is dead been so literally true to me. From what circle of hell did this book originate? Why does it still exist in our secular age?
Why did I read this? SOS! SOS!

Sociology Degreer
Guest
Sociology Degreer

1916 was a strange age.

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant

Yep. This could be the basis of a new book by Modris Eksteins, PhD. Not to be confused with David Eckstein, ballplayer and creation of the congress of two of those ball-bodied hellspawn.

Jaack
Guest
Jaack

This torture can apparently be yours for only $850! Lookereehere: http://www.alephbet.com/pdf/cat92a-web.pdf

Shin Soo Choo
Guest
Shin Soo Choo

or “Our Little Philippine kiddies”. Just sayin’ is all

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