Today in Decidedly Juvenile B-Ref Player Name Searches

Offered up with little introduction — and even less discretion — I present to you following decidedly juvenile Baseball-Reference player name searches …

John Cock

John Cock.

John Balls

John Balls.

Kevin Assman

Kevin Assman.

Tod Prick

Tod Prick.

Ralph Sack

Ralph Sack.

Larry Butt

Larry Butt.

This has been “Today in Decidedly Juvenile B-Ref Player Name Searches.”

You smell like poo and toots.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


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Kzuke
Guest
Kzuke

Forgot Fukudome

triple_r
Member

Na na na boo boo, I’m better than you you, stick your head in do do.

Del B. Vista
Member
Del B. Vista

The BBref person responsible for following site search trends is in for an interesting next couple of hours.

I found a Robert Clites.

The Kudzu Kid
Guest
The Kudzu Kid

These folks have nothing on Rusty Kuntz.

elmedius
Guest
elmedius

Dick Shiner spent 12 seasons in the NFL… i just don’t think that MLB’s got anyone that can beat him if you know what im saying?

http://www.nfl.com/player/dickshiner/2525506/profile

Don Zimmer's jowl sweat
Member
Don Zimmer's jowl sweat

Yeah, after that botched hit and run, the manager was really chewing out Rusty Kuntz in the dugout.

Don Zimmer's jowl sweat
Member
Don Zimmer's jowl sweat

Rusty Kuntz loves to shag fly balls.

Ben
Guest
Ben

Who could forget Dick Pole?

Schwartz: The Newly Crowned Pants Tryer-Onner for the Sultan of Brunei
Guest
Schwartz: The Newly Crowned Pants Tryer-Onner for the Sultan of Brunei
Guest

He doodoo’s, therefore he is a dooher. And as legend would have it, that randy rascal Anthony enjoyed the company of ladies -so one would be so inclined to cheer out loud to him, “Do her!”

Alas, it is but a distant second to the last name of “Fucker.”

Ray
Guest
Ray

I think Pete LaCock could go head-to-head with most of these guys.

Clark D
Guest
Clark D

Pussy Tebeau
Cum Posey (HOFer)

Best one yet – when searching for “fuc”, one result is Billy Ripken.

hobbyist
Guest
hobbyist

likely the result of the infamous 1989 fleer “f**k face” card

Pussy Tebeau
Guest
Pussy Tebeau

80085

Dan
Guest
Dan

80081355

Pirates Hurdles
Guest
Pirates Hurdles

Had no idea that if you search for a curse word on BR it goes to a picture of a bar of soap and a mouth. Pretty clever.

James K.
Guest
James K.

That’s nothing. Try searching “shit”.

Yuni B
Guest
Yuni B

Hey that sends it to my page! LOL!

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant

Johnny Dickshot – Player/Manager. Book it! I have to write, Dayn, this post shows a lot of spunk. I guess you like to share your spunk with the readers. We appreciate it greatly.

Kenny
Guest
Kenny
JayT
Guest
JayT

When I was a juvenile my brothers and I would always call Rusty Greer “Gusty Rear”. Does that count?

James K.
Guest
James K.

Maybe. My neighbor and I referred to Pat Meares as “Pap Smears”.

Joe D.
Guest
Joe D.

when I was a kid, my father cleverly called Dave Righetti “Fucking Piece of Shit Sucks Dick”

that should count.

Turbo Sloth
Guest
Turbo Sloth

Not quite as juvenile, but there is a player named Chick Manlove that I found accidentally on there, and that’s pretty great.

Choo
Member

Back in the 1980’s, athletic cups were often referred to as Dick Howsers.

Also, Stubby Clapp, an unfortunate venereal disease with the unfortunate side effect of diminished girth.

James K.
Guest
James K.

What about the various guys called Nig? Are we not touching that?

Choo
Member

Not with a 10-foot Dick Pole.

Matt
Member
Matt

These people have nothing on former pro hockey player Harry Dick http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=13007

Double J
Guest
Double J

Mike Sweeney.

Great name. Sad Story but great article.
THE GOOD TIMES, HARD LIFE, AND SHOCKING DEATH OF DICK TRICKLE
http://www.sbnation.com/longform/2013/7/30/4567960/dick-trickle-suicide-nascar-profile

LookItUp
Guest
LookItUp

This list would be sadly incomplete without a mention of the immortal John Wesley “Pebbly Jack” Glasscock.

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