Tony Campana Knows Too Much

The heinous act above — the silencing of Tony Campana — was captured by a brave Getty Images photographer last Thursday. Naturally, as you’ve by now come to expect, we sent one of our correspondents, part of our award-winning Investigative Reporting Investigation Team, to, well, investigate.

When asked over the weekend about what exactly happened in the dugout at Great American Ball Park last week, all the color, all the joie de vivre, as Chairman Cistulli would say, left Tony Campana’s face. He wouldn’t speak. He couldn’t speak. Campana shook his head, from left to right.

“Is that a ‘no comment’?” our intrepid reporter asked.

Campana, again, said nothing. He shook his head once more, this time up and down. No comment.

Our investigate reporter pressed on. (This is why we’ve won awards.) Finally, after looking to his left, and then to his right, Campana motioned for our reporter to move in, to get closer. Then Campana whispered:

“… I see Carlos Zambrano.”

As soon as Campana had opened up to us, had let NotGraphs in, Alfonso Soriano walked by in the clubhouse, and stopped to the right of our reporter. Soriano then took two fingers, pointed them at his eyes, and pointed them at Campana. The interview was over.

Tony Campana’s been through a lot in his young life. He’s forever been told that he was too small to play in The Show. He’s battled, and beaten, Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Now he’s in for the toughest fight of his life: Being a Chicago Cub.

Image courtesy, as mentioned, the one and only Getty Images. Via Daylife.

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Navin Vaswani is a replacement-level writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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Greg W
Greg W
4 years 9 months ago

The Cubs take them in, but they never come out. Alas.