Totally Unaltered Tweet: Mariano Rivera Will Continue to Shag, and You Can’t Stop Him

Night

NotGraphs’ Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has confirmed — through means most nefarious and, quite frankly, disturbing — that Mariano Rivera has but one move in the bedroom, and, much like his cutter, it is unmatched.

Remember: Safety first, kids. Unplanned pregnancies are the worst.

H/T: Mr. Nightengale.




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Navin Vaswani is a replacement-level writer. Follow him on Twitter.


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BJ
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BJ
3 years 4 months ago

http://espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/story/_/id/8944207/2013-spring-training-mariano-rivera-reveal-future-plans-opening-day

Both [Rivera] and Girardi said [Rivera] will continue to shag.
“I have to be ready and if shagging is part of my routine, then I’ll be doing it. How much? I don’t know, but I’ll be doing it.”

Mike Green
Guest
Mike Green
3 years 4 months ago

A day early, don’t you think? Nothing worse than premature journalism.

VC
Guest
VC
3 years 4 months ago

Disagree. Sometimes you have trouble getting it uploaded.

Austin Powers
Guest
Austin Powers
3 years 4 months ago

Groovy baby.

El Vigilante
Guest
El Vigilante
3 years 4 months ago

More proof of the full-on anti-gay vibe this community continually perpetuates?

This guy
Guest
This guy
3 years 4 months ago

Only if you’re a fan of jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Chemmy
Guest
3 years 4 months ago

Just because I troll this blog for same sex hookups doesn’t mean… wait hold on.

John R.
Guest
John R.
3 years 4 months ago

You too? Finally, this might actually work!

MikeP
Guest
MikeP
3 years 4 months ago

Check out this site for hot below-replacement-level second baseman action!

http://www.daytonmooreguys.com

Antonio bananas
Guest
Antonio bananas
3 years 4 months ago

A section strictly dedicated to baseball related sex puns would be awesome. Place this next to that awesome Dickey article and we’ve got something going.

MikeP
Guest
MikeP
3 years 4 months ago

It needs to be dedicated to former Mariner Dick Pole.

The Rajah
Guest
The Rajah
3 years 4 months ago

Could we call it “Hot Staffs”?

Ray
Guest
Ray
3 years 4 months ago

Be sure to make room for a piece on former Royals’ 1B Pete LaCock.

allan
Guest
allan
3 years 4 months ago

And Johnny Dickshot.

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