Totally Unaltered Tweet: What Chase Headley Is Discussing

On the field, Chase Headley has committed himself to excellence as both an offensive and defensive player. As the following tweet reveals — courtesy MLB Trade Rumors and in-no-way altered from the original — as it reveals, Headley has also committed himself to becoming familiar with the most important ideas of our time (click to embiggen):


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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

8 Responses to “Totally Unaltered Tweet: What Chase Headley Is Discussing”

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  1. gag says:

    TED talks must be like what the Bible was a century ago for psuedointellectuals and/or the upper middle class. Consume it/them regularly, mention how you enjoy the contrarian nature and allegory when discussing with others how you do, indeed, consume it/them regularly, and then smile and shrug (maybe with a furrowed brow as a finishing touch) when presented with the notion that it’s/they’re filled with loads of self-contradictory material.

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    • K. Bradford says:

      I loathe that attitude; It’s haughty and elitist to the point of being baffling, and nothing more than what you declaim the TED talks to be: contrarian and unintelligent. Please take your acerbity somewhere else, or at the very least make snide comments that actually have some degree of relevance to what material the Fangraphs authors publish.

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      • gag says:

        Ok, if you’re trolling me, you win. Otherwise…

        First, the subject matter of my intentionally dry comment is completely relevant to a *comedic* post where the device is Chase Headley linking to a TED talk.

        Second, despite your carefully crafted take-down, you’ve nonetheless missed the point entirely. Evidentally at least 10 others have as well. My “disgust” comes in the form of a humorous observation that people who zealously consume TED talks demonstrate equal fervor subsequently promoting that fact (here, in Headley’s case, through twitter).

        It seems to me that Carson was making a shrewd joke here. On one level, he’s playing with expectation. We don’t expect Chase Headley to be posting about TED Talks on his twitter feed. But then on another level, how many of us have annoying friends who always post stuff like this. Hashtag, “Mind, blown”. It’s like, enough already. Go read a book for once.

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    • RA Rowe says:

      as opposed to diet dew and ice road truckers?

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  2. FamousAmazingGuy says:

    This post affords me the opportunity to discuss significant issue facing the NotGraphs community. Much like Chase Headley turning to TED Talks for guidance in all matters of science, spirit and life, the NotGraphs constituency finds itself currently in a state of bleak and dismal emptiness in regards to such leadership.

    Thankfully, I have taken the initiative to correct such an injustice. Due to the lack of opposition on the matter, I declare that this decision will be final. This will consist of a lifetime term for all time unless it can be scientifically proven without a doubt that Dave Cameron is indeed human.

    So it is with great pride that I share with all of you the results of the inaugural Poet Laureate of NotGraphs.

    One may think that Carson Cistulli would have been an obvious choice for such a position, however, due to the controversy surrounding his candidacy from his acceptance to join the BBWAA, this has detached him of all credentials of being a poet. As one can not be half pregnant, one cannot be half a poet. Unfortunately for Mr.Cistulli – who has chosen instead, the comfort to nurse from the supple breast of the BBWAA’s tit-, the joining of such a guild disqualifies him from the title Poet Laureate of NotGraphs.

    This brings me to the winner. A man who embodies the true true true spirit of a poet. A man capable of consuming a volume of alcohol in one sitting that would shut down the nervous system of a bovine to further his craft. A man celebrating the art of his contemporary poets like that midwest phenom Pete Rose. A man with an understanding that some poetry is just better if left unread (yeah I’m talking about you T.S. Eliot, what have you done for us lately!?!).

    So it is with much pomp and circumstance, but extra pomp, that I hear by decree Dayn Perry Poet Laureate of NotGraphs.

    Congratulations Dayn! Along with honour of being the Notgraphs father in all matters of science, spirit and life you have also acquired the following natural rights….

    1) The authority to smile and nod your head knowingly and what anyone says despite their authority on the matter, because they don’t see the issue though the eyes of a poet.

    2) The social acceptance to emit an aroma of any intensity of fecal incontinence which is excused due to a series of lifestyle choices during youth which where paramount in the the development of your art (I kid you not, this was whispered to me at a cocktail party before meeting the Poet Laureate of Toronto).

    3) The right to consume as much Four Loko as you deem artistically fit, regardless of the hour or setting.

    Atta boy Dayn!

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  3. LTG says:

    TED talks is not what I was expecting…

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  4. SeanTronX says:

    He majored in sports management. I mean come on

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