Totally Unaltered Tweet: Zombie Justin Verlander

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

14 Responses to “Totally Unaltered Tweet: Zombie Justin Verlander”

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  1. harpago17 says:

    I literally laughed my ass off at this.

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  2. DD says:


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    • Pirates Hurdles says:

      Wow, we are getting dumb. Maybe they should redefine “irony” as coincidence since literally everyone misuses it too.

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  3. Chris Traeger says:

    This is literally, my favorite NotGraphs post today.

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  4. The Kudzu Kid says:

    1. People are not going to stop using the word “literally” like this
    2. Therefore, you should get over it
    3. Because kvetching about it helps nothing
    4. Four

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    • Casper says:

      People are going to keep buying soft jazz, too, but that’s no reason to stop mocking Kenny G.

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    • Cutterjon says:

      Why in the world is that? I find it interesting to talk about other people of a similar mindset about how to use language properly and why it’s important. And sometimes someone who is misusing something will listen to me, or overhear — and then appreciate why and make some kind of effort to use a better word, of which there are many. The idea that standards of communication are slipping so we should all just accept that because there’s nothing we can do is a blatantly self-fulfilling prophecy. And why be such a downer? People are having fun and making jokes in this thread, there’s no need to inform everyone who wasted years of their life by getting an English degree that the real world doesn’t care about correctness. We know.

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  5. bjoak says:

    I read it as though Verlander did not say, “I’m literally dead.” I read it as though Leyland is trying to say, “He literally told me he was dead.” We can probably can get over jazzed up syntax by Leyland faster than dubious use of ‘literally’ by Verlander, no?

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  6. elmedius says:

    Perhaps he meant to imply that his career in literature was over? That he would no longer be writing romance novellas and the such?

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