Major League Baseball announced today its regular season schedule for 2014, which begins at the end of March.
Below are some notable aspects of same.
• Season begins with 2014 Opening Series in Australia between whatever members of D-backs and Dodgers have not been maimed and injured by that country’s menacing wildlife.
• To complement Sunday Night Baseball, ESPN introduces Tuesday Dawn Baseball. Huge ratings victory expected.
• Starting May 14th, Ninja BlackSox begin appearing on schedule for duration of season.
• Only, like, 17 or 11 home games scheduled for Marlins.
• Experimental “three-way game” scheduled for June 27th, featuring Red Sox, Yankees, and Mets. Precise rules TBD.
• Kenesaw Mountain Landis Memorial Day scheduled for August 3rd to remember victims of late, merciless commissioner.
• Interleague play expanded to include Greater Schenectady Little League.
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