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Tweet! Dallas Braden Is Not The Father!

Dallas Braden is excited.

See? I told you.

You, the reader, may not fully understand just how excited Dallas Braden is. I, the author, somewhat fortunately, do not understand just how excited Dallas Braden is. But you know who does? People on the Maury Povich show. Like this guy:

And this guy:

In fact, I think Braden actually might have been on Maury one of those times… I think we have the footage (which will be embiggened upon clickage):

Well, just allow me to say congratulations to Dallas on both fronts (the being able to throw and the not being the father).

Many thanks to Holy Maury Mother Of God for existing and having these great images.