Two GIFs: Celebrating the 1984 Padres-Braves Brawl

Over at the Home for All Baseball Fans, I briefly celebrated the 28th anniversary of the greatest donnybrook of them all — one in which crimson masks surely abounded. The fact is that sometimes gentlemen must settle disputes over the phrasing of certain contractual elements with their fists and chunky cocks. The resulting bruises are as black as Bibles, but, lo, those bruises clarify.

How do you know a given fracas is right-wise? First, civilians are conscripted …

Second, Ed Whitson is bestripped of tunic and as affronted as a hornet who is not only wet but also cuckolded and accused of a crime he did not commit and overcharged for a lousy seafood dinner …

Twenty-eight years ago, some men saw to some business.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

20 Responses to “Two GIFs: Celebrating the 1984 Padres-Braves Brawl”

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  1. Urban Shocker says:

    Greatest. NotGraphs. Ever.

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  2. Pinstripe Wizard says:

    Oh how I miss 80s mustaches.

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  3. saucypony says:

    ” Twenty-eight years ago, some men* saw to some business.”

    *And one brave woman that pulled down Summers with the tenacity of a cornered mother-lion.

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    • reillocity says:

      I also particularly like that Champ Summers didn’t even play in the game. How many MLBers can accurately claim that they got horsecollared to the ground by a broad during a game that they didn’t even appear in? So you’ve got that going for you, John Junior Summers.

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      • reillocity says:

        Admittedly, we cannot say for certain that the horsecollarer in question was female until we determine where Richard Simmons was that glorious Sunday afternoon.

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  4. baseball color-kick-line says:

    Ed Whitson, or rather, a bare-chested and hot-blooded Robert J. Baumann?

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  5. Kyle says:

    Hell yes, they did.

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  6. Choo says:

    Perhaps my favorite moment is at the end of the Whitson clip. Eric Show emerges from the depths, shoulders curled by desolation and marathon jam sessions in his favorite hammock . . . but what is that on the top step of the dugout? Some cheeseburger? Shit yeah it is.

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    • Dayn Perry says:

      I believe I also see a certain leisured Padre wearing flip-flops.

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      • Choo says:

        It appears the movement of those pinkish flip-flops revealed the food wrapper in question, prompting Show to investigate in a manner typically reserved for starving cats or Eric Show when he sees something that probably isn’t (but “oh my god what if it is?!?”) a dropped coke baggie.

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      • reillocity says:

        From the boxscore and skin pigmentation, I’m guessing that the flip-flopped gentleman is Bobby Brown (neither the former AL President nor musician). Note that he is wielding a bat in the 1st part of that clip but not at the end of it. Where did it go?

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  7. Erik Archer says:

    Much ups to the dude in the mesh hat throwing his drink. Say, were might we find a gif of Johnny Cueto bicycle kicking Cardinals?

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  8. Ian G. says:

    Bonus points for the hideous uniforms both teams wore at the time. This one really should be up there with Disco Demolition night among baseballs greatest moments of anarchy.

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  9. reillocity says:

    I nominate Vintage Baseball Brawls as a candidate for inclusion among official NotGraphs Categories.

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  10. Adam says:

    I wish teams still hated each other enough to have fights like that.

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  11. deadhead says:

    Too bad those gifs don’t show Claudell Washington and Rafael Ramirez hiding behind the same bat. Or Phil Niekro, Pasqual Perez and Rick Mahler forming a circle, backed together with fists raised, battling their way to the can for various reasons. Perhaps showing Bob Horner dislocate his jaw to swallow Tim Flannery, who had emerged from the clubhouse, where he was dropping acid, sucking down whippitz and strumming out Richie Havens songs on an out of tune guitar, would have been nice

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