Ty Cobb School of Baseball Now Accepting Applications

cobbsliding

 

Any young lads enamored by the game of base and ball would serve themselves well to learn the game the way The Great Cobb plays it, and for a small fee they can. Does your young one possess an effeminate gait while playing stick ball in the street? Does your son patrol the outfield like a Catholic? Is he about to start working the mines without ever having heard the satisfying sound made when bat meets skull?

Enroll him now in the Ty Cobb School of Baseball. He will learn all the necessary skills:

  • Playing while drunk
  • Playing with a hangover
  • Headbutting umpires
  • Proper mother-related insults to hurl at pitchers
  • How to hide small weapons in a uniform
  • Hitting skills (time permitting)

With a small investment in time and monies, the Ty Cobb School of Baseball can help your son play the game the way it was meant to be played — full of vitriol, booze, and hatred for all other competitors.

Send $25 and a full family history to:
Ty Cobb School of Baseball
P.O. Box 2
Atlanta, GA

(picture via the panic dream known as Reddit.)



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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.


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Triple R
Guest
Triple R

Will we also learn how to hate black people?

David
Guest
David

Yes. Also cripples and pretty much all people universally.

nets
Guest
nets

but especially black people, although it did not require great skillfulness at the time. a bigot nowadays has much more to offer, to teach. what is ironic about this ironic post is that appealing to a familiar century old name to deride, we feel more comfortable with the current of racism in u.s. now.

nets
Guest
nets

and overall degenerateness and immorality.

brazen reader
Guest
brazen reader

He advocated also for segregating pink tea and mollycoddles.

wpDiscuz