Any young lads enamored by the game of base and ball would serve themselves well to learn the game the way The Great Cobb plays it, and for a small fee they can. Does your young one possess an effeminate gait while playing stick ball in the street? Does your son patrol the outfield like a Catholic? Is he about to start working the mines without ever having heard the satisfying sound made when bat meets skull?
Enroll him now in the Ty Cobb School of Baseball. He will learn all the necessary skills:
- Playing while drunk
- Playing with a hangover
- Headbutting umpires
- Proper mother-related insults to hurl at pitchers
- How to hide small weapons in a uniform
- Hitting skills (time permitting)
With a small investment in time and monies, the Ty Cobb School of Baseball can help your son play the game the way it was meant to be played — full of vitriol, booze, and hatred for all other competitors.
Send $25 and a full family history to:
Ty Cobb School of Baseball
P.O. Box 2
(picture via the panic dream known as Reddit.)
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