Unedited Audio from Most Recent Dayn Perry Podcast

People — and by “people” I mean “a select group of people who, one assumes, are accustomed to making poor life decisions” — people have, at times, expressed interest in hearing those portions of Dayn Perry’s FanGraphs Audio appearances which fail to make the actual, published episodes of same.

What follows is just such a thing — is, in fact, the entirety of the ca. 43-minute phone call I recorded with Perry on Thursday morning, which phone call ultimately produced six entire minutes of content.

Note that, unlike regular episode of FanGraphs Audio, what follows contains profanity (although, it should be said, less than usual for Perry) — and, as well, at least a full minute of the guest audibly evacuating his bladder.

Here, then, is the audio in question:

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

10 Responses to “Unedited Audio from Most Recent Dayn Perry Podcast”

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  1. Kyle says:

    I can assure you, listening to this audio is nowhere near the poorest life decision I’ll be making on this young Friday afternoon.

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  2. Did Dayn save his pee? It can be valuable, particularly with high alcohol content:

    One of the primary ingredients of gunpowder— saltpeter (potassium nitrate)— is a by-product of the bacterial decay of organic matter, particularly dung and urine. Saltpeter “farms” were established in Europe, and by the 1420s it was half the price it had been only fifty years earlier. England was an important center because the English were renowned as redoubtable boozers (a reputation they seem to have enthusiastically sustained over the centuries) and therefore famously productive in the elimination of highly ammoniac urine. Bert S. Hall puts it in scientific language: “Urine from wine and beers is based on the fact that ammonia levels in the urine increase dramatically as the body metabolizes alcohol. . . . A heavy drinker’s urine contributes more vitally needed NH4 to the heap than does an abstemious person.”‘

    Is there not a redoubtable boozing Englishman prowling these parts?

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  3. dp says:

    Little known fact: the battle of Gun Hill, commemorated in the aptly named thoroughfare “Gun Hill Road” that traverses the Bronx, was won by the Americans under the command of Nathan Hale, facing 1000 Hessians with a musket, 3 grams of gunpowder, 2 loads of grapeshot, and a jerk chicken patty procured from the original Golden Krust bakery. Not a single Hessian survived, and their bones occasionally derail trains that traverse the area.

    In other news, I need to stop taking the 5 train to work. Derailment really puts a dent in the ol’ timeliness department.

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  4. RA Rowe says:

    Honestly, I have no problem with the fact that I couldn’t tell what separated the roughly 4 minutes you did post from the rest of these. And neither should you.

    One does not edit down friendship, Carson.

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  5. JBerardi says:

    Should have been a regular episode. I laughed at the urination, which in turn made me think less of myself as a person. To me, that’s the mark of a successful Perry-cast.

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  6. Around minute 35, when they pause from the seasonal power rankings, and Carson is narrating him copying and pasting HTML and Dayn Perry is audibly urinating while fumbling with his cell phone, THEN — at that moment — I knew I was listening to the gold standard of derailed podcasts.

    And my wife, hearing me laugh wheezingly at the tinny sound of pissing over a phone, cautiously asked if everything was alright.

    And how could I find words?

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    • Yirmiyahu says:

      Do you know of any other sportswriters and published authors whose audible urination is freely available to listen to on the web?

      I think Dayn is on a short list.

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  7. rambodiaz says:

    Not only am I accustomed to making poor choices, but occasionally great ones as well. Starting off my work week with this was not only a great choice, but it was the second-closest thing to a 43-minute climax that I’ve ever experienced. In that alone, we find the proof that listening to this was the greatest of great choices I will make today. All other choices will be wretched by comparison.

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  8. Chike says:

    It is not as if Mr. Perry’s wee-wee snuck up from behind and caught us off guard. No. We were all warned. It was foreshadowed early in the conversation and some among us – and I dare not mention who – waited with baited breath for the resolution of this most golden of subplots.

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