Update on New Bedford Youth Baseball Controversy

The handsome and besexed reader has no doubt been waiting, breath breathily bated, for news on the unfurling 2007 controversy surrounding the New Bedford, Massachusetts Youth Baseball League. To update:

– A 92-signature petition requesting the presumably blood-soaked removal of the league’s Executive Board has been filed with the Attorney General’s Office.

– Said Executive Board curiously won quite a large share of those league raffle dollars, in some instances, oddly enough, in increments roughly proportional to the amount of power wielded by each member of the Executive Board.

– Ejected coaches are supposed to be fined, and the coach of Manny’s Barber Shop totally was indeed fined upon being ejected. Not fined for being ejected, however, was Coach DeGrasse, who, it so happens, is a member of the Executive Board.

– Complain to the mayor about the conduct of the Executive Board, and you shall be relieved of coaching duties. At least that’s what happened to the former Coach Pereira.

– League Vice President Heather Rowan was allegedly “talking about vibrators in front of the kids.”

– Someone, someone possibly with allegiances to Ma’s Donuts, threw a rock and hit the parent of a player for Manny’s Barbershop, a team already the target of previous ruthlessness on the part of the Executive Board.

– As well, there is an almost palpable lack of “urgency from them [the big assholes of the Executive Board] to find out who threw the rock.”

– As well, there is an almost palpable “conspiracy to expel me [Coach Duarte, of Manny’s Barber Shop] from the league . . .”


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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

5 Responses to “Update on New Bedford Youth Baseball Controversy”

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  1. tylersnotes says:

    I think we need to hear League Vice President Heather Rowan on the FanGraphs podcast soon.

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  2. Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets says:

    I’m so glad that I only had to go 4.5 years before reading the linked article. Any longer and it would have been a full travesty. Keep doing the good work.

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  3. rambodiaz says:

    I just want to say… I never threw the rock.

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    • Dayn Perry says:

      Interesting. Do you also deny affiliation with Ma’s Donuts?

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      • rambodiaz says:

        Once your tastebuds have been ravaged by a Ma’s Donut, it becomes impossible to muster strength to deny even the most inconsequential of affiliations.

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