As part of our ongoing effort to aggregate all animal- and baseball-related hilarity in one central internet location, NotGraphs presents the abovely embedded video — a video, specifically, in which Cleveland reliever Chris Perez hunts, but fails to kill, a squirrel.
Owing to the lack of urgency in Perez’s gait, one can safely assume that, so far as Perez’s Oregon Trail-related skills are concerned, he skews much more strongly to the Banker from Boston side of things — as opposed to, say, a Farmer from Illinois.
“But he’s not trying to kill the squirrel, you a-hole,” the reader is possibly saying at this moment. “He’s only trying to capture it.”
To which charge I reply: “For one, there’s no Animal Rights Activist from Anna Maria Island in any extant edition of Oregon Trail. And, for two, if what you’re suggesting is true — i.e. that Oregon Trail is not a comprehensive and totally factual guidebook for masculinity in the 21st century — then where is this Indian guide leading me, and why I have just given him my pants?”