Video: Revisiting Strasburg’s Debut

With an excellent performance in his second rehab start Friday night — one that gives him nine strikeouts and zero walks in 4.2 innings in his return from Tommy John surgery — Stephen Strasburg has re-entered the public baseballing consciousness.

Because his brilliant debut occurred before NotGraphs was even a thing — and because MLB video has become embeddable in the meantime — it’s fully within all of our rights to re-live his 14 strikeout, no walk performance together in these electronic pages.

Below, I’ve made note of some extraordinary moments from the first two minutes or so of the above video. The bespectacled reader is invited, however, to add his own commentary where relevant.

0:11 — Records first major-league strikeout against Lastings Milledge on a pitch that was spotted later that night at an area club drinking vodka tonics with no fewer than seven Naomi Campbells.

0:34Delwyn Young strikes out on a curveball that removes whatever was left of his (i.e. Young’s) virginity.

0:41 — A 91 mph changeup. The phrase “God is dead” is subsequently removed from all English versions of Nietzsche’s Die fröhliche Wissenschaft.

1:24Jeff Karstens strikes out looking on 101 mph fastball, calls therapist on way back to dugout.

1:40 — Announcer Bob Carpenter incorrectly, but also sorta correctly, identifies Strasburg’s changeup as a fastball.

1:49 — The entire television audience goes through a second puberty. Prepubescent children experience consecutive puberties.




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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.


6 Responses to “Video: Revisiting Strasburg’s Debut”

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  1. Alex S says:

    My theory is that Strasburg is part of the same race of aliens that built the Egyptian pyramids.

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  2. Pelly says:

    0:01: Scouting report says “Control Emotions”, either hinting to the viewer that they may want to be sitting down while they watch this, or that Strasburg has the ability to control human emotions.

    0:01: Scouting report says “Power up early”, hinting that the viewer should get an accurate power reading on their scouters in the first inning as Strasburg won’t wait for a dramatic moment down the line to reveal his true power level.

    0:48: Throws three consecutive strikes so fast that the camera only picks up the catcher throwing the final strike to third, and the hitter walking away after not having enough time to even enter his batting stance.

    1:20 and 2:16: Strasburg blatantly shows where he gets his magic from.

    0:58 and 1:44: Camera watches the same two fans watching the game. Is this a fixed camera angle, or a camera person fixed on these fans?

    2:25: Commentator unable to comment, just yelps and whoops.

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  3. TheGrandslamwich says:

    I think it may be time to name Strasburg’s pitches. My suggestions:

    Fastball – IT
    Curve – Sombrero Hunter
    Changeup – Fastball

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  4. Telo says:

    That game was a total shitshow. So much fun. I’m sure his first game back will be just as awesome.

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  5. Spunky says:

    God, that video gives me chills every time I see it. I just feel worse and worse for the Pirates hitters each time I watch it.

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