Ways to Make Baseball Games Shorter

I thought I’d try to help the committee being formed to help shorten baseball games. Here are some ideas:

1. When a player walks, he is shot to first base out of a t-shirt cannon.

2. Wild dogs chase fielders to their positions between innings.

3. Pitching changes are made from the dugout by pushing a button that ejects the pitcher from the mound directly into the upper deck.

4. No more second base. Just cut across the diamond and go right to third.

5. Foul tips caught by the catcher on a third strike now cost a team two outs instead of one.

6. Relief pitchers are no longer allowed.

7. No sixth inning on Tuesdays.

8. If you pinch-hit, the pinch hitter only gets one strike instead of three.

9. No more snack breaks on the mound, Bartolo Colon.

10. 7th-inning stretch is now just the 7th-inning yawn-and-get-back-to-the-game.