What a Barve Believes

Wohlers twitter

Yesterday, former Braves reliever Mark Wohlers expressed some surprise that the NBA would be taking steps to suspend and remove Donald Sterling as the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, for his abhorrently racist comments that we don’t really need to rehash here, except to say it’s pretty funny to hear a miserable racist philanderer complain that his bi-racial girlfriend has the temerity to publicly hang out with other people of color.

Wohlers, while not defending Sterling’s comments, tried to defend the bigot slumlord’s right to express those thoughts and keep his team:

Now, of course the first amendment doesn’t say what Wohlers thought it did. But that’s neither here nor there. More importantly, with his comments, Wohlers joins the elite fraternity of former Braves relievers who say and do controversial and ridiculous things that John Rocker started way back in 1999 when he engaged in his thought experiment about riding the New York City subway:

“Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you’re riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing… The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?”

It’s a larger group than you would’ve guessed. Here, below, is the rest of club:

Sutter

Bruce Sutter: Birther

Garber

Gene Garber: Believes 9/11 was an inside job

Lightenberg

Kerry Lightenberg: Holed up with his family in a bunker with guns and canned food. Thinks The End is nigh.

McMurtry

Craig McMurtry: Thinks vaccinations cause autism.

McMichael

Greg McMichael: Likes the Star Wars prequels.

Upshaw

Cecil Upshaw: Voted for Nixon.

Pena

Alejandro Pena: Owns a remote island where he hunts the most dangerous game, man.

Remlinger

Mike Remlinger: Chem trails, man.

Bedrosian

Steve Bedrosian: Puts ketchup on bratwurst.

Farnsworth

Kyle Farnsworth: Brony.

The group is holding a spot for Craig Kimbrel on the off chance he retires and comes out as a Holocaust denier.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman


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Wood
Guest
Wood
2 years 2 months ago

McMichael, you monster!

Chaco Chicken
Member
Chaco Chicken
2 years 2 months ago

Billy Wagner thinks fluoridation is a communist conspiracy.

Bill
Guest
Bill
2 years 2 months ago

What Star Wars Prequels?

Mr. Observant, on behalf of Javy Lopez
Guest
Mr. Observant, on behalf of Javy Lopez
2 years 2 months ago

Reptilian aliens from ancient Babylon live under the White House and control Obama by sending signals through his underpants.

– Javy Lopez

The Barves
Guest
The Barves
2 years 2 months ago

As THE southern baseball team, we feel we have to provide representation for some of America’s (and Latin America’s) more outdated worldviews and slight bigotries.

The Kudzu Kid
Guest
The Kudzu Kid
2 years 2 months ago

Bedrosian! No! Ketchup on bratwurst?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!1!

All the other ones are fine.

fisted with soft hands
Guest
fisted with soft hands
2 years 2 months ago

This was the one that bothered me the most.

John Elway
Member
2 years 2 months ago

A Brony? What kind of candy ass is Farnsworth anyway?

Just neighing.

Adam
Guest
Adam
2 years 2 months ago

Craig McMurtry’s card is amazing. I must have it.

Bronnt
Member
Bronnt
2 years 2 months ago

That picture of Alejandro Pena absolutely fit with the captioning.

olethros
Guest
olethros
2 years 2 months ago

Greg McMichael looks like he and his card belong in 1953, not 1993.

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