What Did Not Happen At The Deadline

Baseball America sums up what happened with the 15 draft picks from the first ten rounds who were still unsigned 15 minutes before the deadline this past Friday at 5PM.

This is not an excerpt from that article:

Kevin Gausman (Orioles, first round, No. 4 overall): Finished eating sandwich. Casually picked up his cell phone for the first time in a few weeks. Saw 92 missed calls from the 410 area code. Listened to the voice mails. Checked his watch. 30 seconds left. Called back, and agreed to sign for $4.32 million, apologized for having his phone on silent since June.

Mark Appel (Pirates, first round, No. 8 overall): Read a blog post about Stanford adding a new flavor of soft-serve to its cafeteria for the fall. Added this piece of information to his pros and cons list, and decided this pushed it over the top. So long, $3.8 million. Hello, Advanced Topics in Macroeconomic Theory.

Lucas Giolito (Nationals, first round, No. 16 overall): Carefully reattached the prosthetic arm he has been using since the unfortunate elbow incident, made sure his sleeve was covering the evidence, signed onto Skype, and did a video chat with the Nationals, informing them he was willing to sign for $2,925,000.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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What’s the point of being an anonymous lawyer and then telling us your name? Funny piece.


I believe that “Anonymous Lawyer” refers to a character, not the author.