What Is a Jurickson Profar?

By now, Jurickson Profar is a household name for serious baseball fans and prospect obsessives.

Due to an unshakeable feeling that “Jurickson Profar” is not really a name for a human being, the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team is investigating (for the purposes of reporting on) just what the term actually refers to. Preliminary investigative reports from the Team have yielded the following as possibilities:

  • A degenerative nerve disorder that causes “immodest jiggling” in those it afflicts.
  • A battery of psychological tests used to detect sociopathy in teenagers.
  • A military strategy that Helmuth von Moltke the Elder used to lead the Prussians to victory in the Franco-Prussian War.
  • An international arms dealer/pharmaceutical company that employs/tests products on African children.
  • A New England-sized asteroid set to collide with earth in 2030, effectively ending life as we know it.

We’ll keep you posted.

This post comes to you with great assistance from the fine mind of the CushBomb.

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8 Responses to “What Is a Jurickson Profar?”

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  1. Jack Kirby originally created Jurickson Profar as a foil for The Fantastic Four, but Stan Lee quickly scrapped the idea because he didn’t want Galactus to look like a wussy in comparison.

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  2. Mr. Pink says:

    It’s actually an anagram for “Jack of Prior Runs.” That or “Scarf Junior Pork” …

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  3. Damaso's Burnt Shirt says:

    The Dooley Womack of the 21st Century.

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  4. Brian M. Jones says:

    Baumann you’re a jurick!

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  5. Dscott says:

    It’s actually a swimming move that you use on the turn to propel yourself deeper in the water to get a better turn speed.

    EX: I noticed you coming up a bit shallow on that last 100m, you might want to try a jurickson profar right after your flip.

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  6. Don Zimmer's jowl sweat says:

    Definitely something developed in the pharmaceutical industry.

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  7. nmk537 says:

    A second baseman, apparently.

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