What’s in Banknotes Harper’s Amazon Cart?

Via a series of Action-News FOIA Requests, your correspondent was able to steal a glimpse of Banknotes Harper‘s Amazon.com shopping cart. Presented largely without comment, here is said cart …

Put it on my fuckingh tab

Banknotes Harper’s levels of discretionary income barely felt a thing. Fuckers.

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10 Responses to “What’s in Banknotes Harper’s Amazon Cart?”

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  1. Now I also want to see screenshots of the suggested items you were alerted to after creating this.

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  2. Mr. Observant says:

    Approximately two lobsters? Does Amazon ship dismembered lobsters to the uber-wealthy titans of Wall Street and the Metrodome?

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  3. Dick says:

    You can get a tactical ninja sword for only $15.81. God, what a country!

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  4. AC of DC says:

    “Do I want those lobsters direct from New England? Do I want a nail through my dick? No, you take them from the water, you put them on a plane — if those pencildicks in customs give you one hot iota of shit you tell them whose seabugs they are — and you fly them to Chesapeake Bay. Upper Bay! I am not a heroin dealer. You let those gourmet fish lord their Puritan superiority over some snotfaced, closet-Catholic, crotchborn crabs; then when they’re nice and fat with self-importance, you have the Maryland Blue Crab Express (if you use the local like some kind of goddamn Saab-driver, so help me I will make you wish you never heard this sentence) take them and then you fly them the fuck back to me to be consumed or flung aside as I decide at the time.

    “I do not derive my sustenance from creatures that lack pride.”

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  5. Resolution says:


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  6. Danny Knobgobbler says:

    One must assume that Banknotes Harper has never uttered the phrase “get your purse” to Mrs. Harper, for Banknotes has never come out on the losing end of a fucking negotiation.

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  7. Seitz says:

    Sometimes 29 ninja swords is just one ninja sword too few.

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