What’s in Banknotes Harper’s Amazon Cart?

Via a series of Action-News FOIA Requests, your correspondent was able to steal a glimpse of Banknotes Harper‘s Amazon.com shopping cart. Presented largely without comment, here is said cart …

Put it on my fuckingh tab

Banknotes Harper’s levels of discretionary income barely felt a thing. Fuckers.




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Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
3 years 2 months ago

Now I also want to see screenshots of the suggested items you were alerted to after creating this.

Mr. Observant
Guest
Mr. Observant
3 years 2 months ago

Approximately two lobsters? Does Amazon ship dismembered lobsters to the uber-wealthy titans of Wall Street and the Metrodome?

Norm
Guest
Norm
3 years 2 months ago

I assumed this meant that occasionally the case will include a single, gargantuan lobster.

Dick
Guest
Dick
3 years 2 months ago

You can get a tactical ninja sword for only $15.81. God, what a country!

agam22
Guest
agam22
3 years 2 months ago

A true ninja sword can be acquired only with the blood of your enemies

MikeS
Guest
MikeS
3 years 2 months ago

Not to mention the fact that you can apparently buy Aqua Velva in five packs.

AC of DC
Guest
AC of DC
3 years 2 months ago

“Do I want those lobsters direct from New England? Do I want a nail through my dick? No, you take them from the water, you put them on a plane — if those pencildicks in customs give you one hot iota of shit you tell them whose seabugs they are — and you fly them to Chesapeake Bay. Upper Bay! I am not a heroin dealer. You let those gourmet fish lord their Puritan superiority over some snotfaced, closet-Catholic, crotchborn crabs; then when they’re nice and fat with self-importance, you have the Maryland Blue Crab Express (if you use the local like some kind of goddamn Saab-driver, so help me I will make you wish you never heard this sentence) take them and then you fly them the fuck back to me to be consumed or flung aside as I decide at the time.

“I do not derive my sustenance from creatures that lack pride.”

Resolution
Guest
Resolution
3 years 2 months ago

PUT IT ON MY FUCKINGH TAB

Danny Knobgobbler
Guest
Danny Knobgobbler
3 years 2 months ago

One must assume that Banknotes Harper has never uttered the phrase “get your purse” to Mrs. Harper, for Banknotes has never come out on the losing end of a fucking negotiation.

Seitz
Guest
Seitz
3 years 2 months ago

Sometimes 29 ninja swords is just one ninja sword too few.

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