Why Is This Mets Prospect So Emotional?


Vicente Lupo, the Mets prospect pictured in the right part of this picture, is exhibiting considerable emotion. Is it because:

  1. He realized only after waiting in line at the DMV that he’d neglected to bring either his checkbook or the requisite amount of cash to renew his license; or
  2. His parents just related, in unnecessarily graphic detail, the circumstances leading to his conception; or
  3. He accidentally read a James Joyce novel; or
  4. His hands, which are transplants from a deceased murderer, are attempting to strangle him; or
  5. His hands, which are transplants from a deceased murderer, smell terrible?

Note, of course, that there’s no correct answer. Indeed, there’s no answer at all. All human endeavor continues to be an exercise in futility.

Credit to handsome entrepreneur Jeffrey Paternostro for bringing this image to the author’s attention.

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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.

20 Responses to “Why Is This Mets Prospect So Emotional?”

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  1. Darkstone42 says:

    Carson, the answer is obvious.

    f. He just learned that the transplanted hands of a deceased murderer are set on choking the life from NotGraphs.

    The only solution for his considerable and well-placed woe is to #KeepNotGraphs, of course, and we must all do our parts to that most noble end.

    +33 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • steex says:

      I’m certain that the above is true, and Vicente is seen in this photo attempting to overpower the hands and willfully strangle himself. Only through his own death can the hands be dead once more, a noble sacrifice from a man who wishes to ensure we are able to #KeepNotGraphs well into the future.

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  2. Brian says:

    Good post. I would like to continue seeing good posts. #SaveNotGraphs

    +18 Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Kris says:

    Every time you write something good, this is how I feel

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  4. Bip says:

    “Unlike Job, I have not cursed the day I was born; all the other days, on the contrary, I have covered with my anathemas. …”
    Emil Cioran Vicente Lupo

    +6 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Well-Beered Englishman says:

      I love, so very much, that I visit a baseball blog where the readers quote E.M. Cioran.

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      • Bip says:

        To give credit where it is due, I’m mostly quoting Cistulli quoting E.M. Cioran, of whom I had never heard before the last podcast with Dayn.

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  5. M.S. Solstice says:

    “All human endeavor continues to be an exercise in futility.” (that’s my answer)

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  6. Connor says:

    He has to spend another year living in Binghamton, NY. I know his pain.


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  7. Mike Green says:

    The humiliation of a codpiece which was insufficient in the particular circumstances. The opponent in the dugout (2nd from the left) very kindly covered his eyes. Or perhaps it was a form of self-protection.

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  8. Vulgaris says:


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  9. reillocity says:

    f. he just ended an Appy League game with a 2-out walk-off straight steal of home

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  10. Munchkin says:

    He was doing his best Jackie Chan lolmeme impression.

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  11. Seriously. #KeepNotGraphs says:

    “You’re bright orange uniform burns my eyes!”

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  12. Steven says:

    All of the above.

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  13. Bren says:

    Given his recent arrest for drag racing at over 100 MPH (without a license), I don’t think Lupo will be going to the DMV anytime soon…

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  14. Paul G. says:

    Scanners? The head-asploder must be in the third base side somewhere as it appears he is also incidentally affecting someone on the other team’s bench with a similar head containing expression. Damn overpenetration!

    Or maybe it is Edvard Munch Day at the ballpark. Vincente appears to have a strong second place effort going.

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    • Mike Green says:

      Edvard Munch day at the ballpark? Cool idea. Mogdiliani Day for your Alex Rios, Enos Cabell types.

      And Dali days at the ballpark? What happens then? Maybe the official scorer does a magic trick after each error, with fireworks following the trick.

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  15. Josh B says:

    The catcher just told him that his epidermis was showing.

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