Yankees Finally Land Tanaka!

Tanaka

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In what is surely an exciting development for their groundskeeping and stadium maintenance crews, the New York Yankees today announced a seven-year deal with Tanaka Power Equipment, a brand within the Hitachi Power Tools Group. The deal will give Yankees employees access to the very best in power tools, including chainsaws, grass trimmers, brush cutters, power augers, water pumps, and leaf blowers to maintain the grounds of New Yankee Stadium, at a time when new ballparks begin to show their wear.

Sure, $155 million seems expensive to get exclusive access to Tanaka’s two new straight shaft trimmers, but the Yankees have never shied away from paying top dollar to bring in the very best product. And really, you would be hard pressed to find a higher quality company than the one who introduced the world’s smallest industrial, general purpose 2-cycle engine all the way back in 1962. Also, given that all of Tanaka’s fine products come with a seven year consumer warranty, there’s little risk of the club being left in the lurch should any of the equipment break down.

Tanaka president Chris Burtis promises that the Yankees will have his company’s full attention. “We were really surprised when the Yankees got in contact with us and were excited to have them fly out specifically to speak to us directly about how much they valued the Tanaka line of products and how we would be an important part of the next great Yankees dynasty,” he said. “They just made it impossible to say no.”  Tanaka power equipment is already being shipped to Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, where it will be properly oiled to get ready for the coming season. It’s thought that, now having upgraded their ballpark ATMs, hot dog rolling grills, and paper towel dispensers, the Yankees are done shopping this offseason, but with the explosion of television revenue around the league, you can’t ever really count them out if they see a good bargain on sod or glass cleaner for luxury box windows.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman


6 Responses to “Yankees Finally Land Tanaka!”

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  1. Mr. Observant, Misanthrope says:

    There’s your answer, fish-bulb…

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  2. Damaso's Burnt Shirt says:

    James Bond ally, Tiger Tanaka?

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  3. Tom Clancy says:

    HUMURUS TABS!

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  4. jcxy says:

    Can someone explain the AV club joke?

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  5. AC of DC says:

    Damn. Was holding out hope they’d ink a deal with Makita and their classy advertising.

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