Yasiel Puig Would Like to Show You a Magic Trick

puigmagictrick

We here at NotGraphs have been described in many ways; namely “irreverent”, “whimsical”, and “soon-to-be-cancelled.” Rarely, even despite the best efforts of the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team, are we described as “journalistic.”

However, this may all change today as I believe I have uncovered the secret behind Yasiel Puig’s dominance. Dude’s magic.

As you can see in this not-at-all-reversed clip above, Puig appears to have the ability to move objects at will without even touching them. Is this how he keeps those doubles away from outfielders? Can he summon fly balls into his glove? Does he make Adrian Gonzalez’s gentleman parts twitch on occasion just to freak him out?

This is obviously a turning point in the evolution of humanity. Soon, baseball will cease being a test of physical prowess and hand-eye coordination, and merely a battle of magical powers. Just wizards and warlocks duking it out. Third base will truly be the hot corner, as the fielders try to ward off fire spells from the opposing dugout. Outfielders will turn high fly balls into actual cans of corn just to be dicks.

Some writers will cry foul. They will use their indignation to create column after column about this new breed of cheaters. Those writers will be turned into goats. Eventually, everyone makes it into the Hall of Fame. The sanctity of the game is ruined.

Thanks a lot, Obama Yasiel Puig.




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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.


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John Paschal
Member
1 year 10 months ago

I can do the same thing with my athletic cup. True story.

stuck in a slump
Guest
stuck in a slump
1 year 10 months ago

I thought he was going to make a bat disappear

Stringer Bell
Guest
Stringer Bell
1 year 10 months ago

He did. Bill Plaschke hasn’t been seen since.

Damaso's Burnt Shirt
Guest
Damaso's Burnt Shirt
1 year 10 months ago

Puig: “Hey Kid, Watch me pull a hat out of my hat.”

He’s better at it than Bullwinkle is…

Gaylord Perry
Guest
Gaylord Perry
1 year 10 months ago

Nothing up my sleeve….presto!

Turukano
Guest
Turukano
1 year 10 months ago

Puig would like to remind you that this isn’t a “trick”; it’s an “illusion”.

Darkstone42
Member
Darkstone42
1 year 10 months ago

Blocking the plate would be taken to a whole new level as catchers stand in the baseline, sword and staff in hand, and shout, “You shall not pass!” striking the dirt and collapsing the entire left side of the infield.

Glorious.

Packbob
Guest
Packbob
1 year 10 months ago

Puig parsimoniously produced pitcher parody post-hoc pure postulating pitch.

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