Yo Momma Jokes For Your Fantasy Baseball Auction

Yo momma’s so cheap, she didn’t even want to pay $35 for Troy Tulowitzki.

Yo momma’s so old, she remembers when Jamie Moyer was in his thirties.

Yo momma’s so poor, she can’t even afford fake auction money.

Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Jordan Zimmermann’s last name only has one N.

Yo momma’s so lazy, she didn’t make her own spreadsheet.

Yo momma’s so ugly, she made this awesome real-time-updated draft board I set up to work on my TV set crack in half.

Yo momma’s so fat, I couldn’t even see behind her, and notice you were holding up your hand to bid on Asdrubal Cabrera. So he went for $10 to someone else. Sorry. There are other decent shortstops available, though.

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Want more Hopeless Joe even after NotGraphs ends? Check out Hopeless Joe's Kickstarter campaign and join the hopeless march toward new, exclusive content. Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

6 Responses to “Yo Momma Jokes For Your Fantasy Baseball Auction”

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  1. dockmarm says:

    Yo momma’s so fat, Bartolo Colon for $3

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Expos67 says:

    Yo momma’s so fat, she picked Mark Hamburger and Phil Coke.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Im Yovani Gallardo says:

    Your momma is so Criag Biggio, she is Craig Biggio

    +8 Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. kid says:

    Yo momma so stupid she bid $47 on Ryan Braun… the reliever.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. fantasysucks says:

    Yo momma so dumb she plays fantasy baseball

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Henry Crocket says:


    Vote -1 Vote +1

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