Young Dayn Perry

Young Dayn Perry

As the half-smile suggests, Young Dayn Perry regards his attitude as one of the “devil-may-care” variety. He’s wrong in this regard, however: the devil doesn’t care — not about him, and not about his attitude.

Young Dayn Perry has recently received an invitation — from varsity linebacker Darrell Perkins, specifically — to wipe the goddamn smirk off his face before Perkins does it for him. Young Dayn Perry has every intention of accepting.

Darrell Perkins’ invitation is the first Young Dayn Perry has received, to anything, since freshman year.

Owing to the example set by his parents, Young Dayn Perry absolutely knows what love is. The subject with which he’s less familiar is girls’ privates.

Young Dayn Perry wants nothing more than to put his hands up on Katie Graham’s hips and then, when he dips, to have her dip, as well, such that they’re both dipping together at the same time.

Young Dayn Perry has recorded no fewer than 37 mix tapes for Katie Graham since September, he’ll reveal while signing her yearbook.

“Never change,” Young Dayn Perry will add. For totally different reasons, she won’t.

Young Dayn Perry hasn’t so much watched 1992 drama School Ties as memorized every line and written a sequel that follows Brendan Fraser’s character David Greene into college and then onto his professional life as a successful dermatologist in Newton, Mass.

“You can take the man out of Mississippi,” Young Dayn Perry’s father has intoned on more than one occasion, “but you can’t take the Mississippi out of the man.” Young Dayn Perry is haunted by this and other truths.



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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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Guy
Guest
Guy

that photo should be removed by administrator.

Cormac M
Guest
Cormac M

Where men can’t live gods fare no better.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

This picture made me grin. Excellence in photography.

Daguerrotype of the Month.

Mattc
Guest
Mattc

If that young man was not a fan of The Cure, I will be thrice damned.

Byrne
Guest
Byrne

that Dayn Perry also rocked the hell out of Jesus & Mary Chain’s Darklands cassette in his ’86 Iroc on his Pioneer tape deck.

Danny Knobgobbler
Guest
Danny Knobgobbler

Who knew there was a fourth Jonas Brother?

Mr. Smooth
Guest
Mr. Smooth

He was daydreaming about Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Danny Knobgobbler
Guest
Danny Knobgobbler

Hot! Hot! Hot!

joyce
Guest
joyce

portrait of a sabermetrician as a young man.

Rebel Yell
Guest
Rebel Yell

when I see the hair, I think of Dayn speeding down a rural Mississippi road blaring “Anarchy in the UK” with a female companion a year his junior imploring him to slow down…but also secretly loving the recklessness.

when I see the properly tied tie, I see all the above occurring, but strictly before a 930pm curfew.

Nevin
Member
Nevin

Gimme three steps
gimme three steps, mister
Gimme three steps towards the door…

MikeS
Guest
MikeS

I look forward to the inevitable follow up piece (rebuttal? counter attack?) “Young Carson Cistulli.”

jcxy
Guest
jcxy

I’d wager it’ll be a “Cistulli: F__k that Guy”

The Return of Rambo Diaz
Guest
The Return of Rambo Diaz

Really, that’d be a very appropriate tag for this post, too.

ettin
Guest
ettin

Young Dayn Perry desperately wants to be Rick, the ladies man from the Last American Virgin, but, unsurprisingly, winds up being Gary.

question time
Guest
question time

Question: Dayn, if you could speak to this young man, what would you tell him?

stockhfcrx
Member
Member
stockhfcrx

Eyes of my loins dan

Nate
Guest
Nate

Wait, Dayn Perry is Brendan Fraser?

ReuschelCakes
Guest
ReuschelCakes

but can he hit a curveball?

Bip
Member
Member
Bip

Cistullian Rap Battle

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