Young Yu Darvish

Young Yu Darvish doesn’t know what all the fuss is about.

Young Yu Darvish lost his hemp necklace that time he was caught reading some poems he wrote to Kumiko in Yoyogi Park and they had to run away from her aunt. He went back to look for it, but only found her underwear.

Young Yu Darvish once did get caught that time he was smoking cigarettes in the pachinko parlor with Keiko. But he knew that all it would take to get excused without incident were some furrowed eyebrows and a firm “Su-Me-Ma-Sen.” He’s nothing if not polite.

He’s never seen a gyroball, but he’s thrown a gyrocutter before.

Young Yu Darvish was never the same as the other kids, but that’s on them.

Young Yu Darvish’s chain says “love” in Japanese. He has one that says “hate” in Persian that he wears sometimes when he’s feeling a little different. He tells people they both say “love.”

When John Legend says “This ain’t a movie no / No fairy tale conclusion y’all,” young Yu Darvish knows what he’s saying. Like, deep down in his soul. Also, he thinks it’s a great thing to say to girls in English when he’s breaking up with them.

Young Yu Darvish has only been learning the guitar for three days but can do a great “Sunbeam” already. One time he was playing it in Harajuku and a girl just slipped him her number and ran away giggling. He plans to keep playing guitar, but worries about his fingernails. He needs them for that knuckler that he’s working on.

A teacher once told young Yu Darvish that he had an old soul. Once everyone left the room, she also gave him his first kiss.

He once played hockey, for kicks, for a couple of years. They won a county championship. Young Yu Darvish then quit because he didn’t like the way the pads chafed.

Young Yu Darvish wonders what’s out there.




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Graphs: Baseball, Roto, Beer, brats (OK, no graphs for that...yet), repeat. Follow him on Twitter @enosarris.


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Adam
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Adam
4 years 7 months ago

“Young Yu Darvish’s chain says “love” in Japanese. He has one that says “hate” in Persian”. Ha, well that just made my day.

scout1222
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scout1222
4 years 7 months ago

I would have been so smitten with Young Yu Darvish.

(she says as if she’s not smitten with him NOW….)

nubillybaroo
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nubillybaroo
4 years 7 months ago

Something must be done about this on Notgraphs ASAP!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CxDJs3mhdog#!

nubillybaroo
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nubillybaroo
4 years 7 months ago

…and that is coming from a BoSox fan!

Valentine’s power over Japanese women must be addressed or the SOx will be considered “tampering”!!!!!!!!!!

SAmmy
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4 years 7 months ago

Great writing Eno.

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