Your 9-Year-Old Self is Terrified of Playing for the Rays


The Rays 2013 pregame clubhouse entertainment now includes at least:

• A DJ.
• A magician.
• A meringue band.
• A flock of penguins.
• A cockatoo.
• Bushels of plantains hanging from the lockers.
• A 20-foot python.

I may be forgetting one or two.

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Bradley writes for FanGraphs and The Hardball Times. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.

12 Responses to “Your 9-Year-Old Self is Terrified of Playing for the Rays”

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  1. Dan Rozenson says:

    Also because when I was 9 years old, the Rays were a terrible team.

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  2. CubsOfTheNorth says:

    As long as they don’t send in the clowns, my 9 year old self will still happily play for the Devil Rays.

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  3. JuanPierreDoesSteroids says:

    My team one year in little league was the Devil Rays. True story.

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  4. JuanPierreDoesSteroids says:

    Also, there are like 4 FoxSports1 ads on this page. The 2 giant banners on the sides of the page, the .gif over the “Notgraphs Hot Hotline” link, and the one at the very top of the page next to the Notgraphs logo.

    You don’t want me to watch FoxSports1, do you Notgraphs?

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  5. John says:

    Your list excludes “a rapist”.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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