Your Friday Cake and Quote

It’s not a cake! It’s a Blue Jays donut! And not just any donut! The official donut of the Toronto Blue Jays!

blue jays donut

Available at your local Tim Hortons, it is most refreshing when paired with this quote from Henry Miller’s Tropic of Capricorn:

“If I longed for destruction it was merely that this eye might be extinguished. I longed for an earthquake, for some cataclysm of nature which would plunge the lighthouse into the sea. I wanted a metamorphosis, a change to fish, to leviathan, to destroyer. I wanted the earth to open up, to swallow everything in one engulfing yawn. I wanted to see the city buried fathoms deep in the bosom of the sea. I wanted to sit in a cave and read by candlelight. I wanted that eye extinguished so that I might have a change to know my own body, my own desires. I wanted to be alone for a thousand years in order to reflect on what I had seen and heard–and in order to forget. I wanted something of the earth which was not of man’s doing, something absolutely divorced from the human of which I was surfeited. I wanted something purely terrestrial and absolutely divested of idea. I wanted to feel the blood running back into my veins, even at the cost of annihilation. I wanted to shake the stone and the light out of my system. I wanted the dark fecundity of nature, the deep well of the womb, silence, or else the lapping of the black waters of death. I wanted to be that night which the remorseless eye illuminated, a night diapered with stars and trailing comets. To be of night, so frighteningly silent, so utterly incomprehensible and eloquent at the same time. Never more to speak or to listen or to think. To be englobed and encompassed and to encompass and to englobe at the same time. No more pity, no more tenderness. To be human only terrestrially, like a plant or a worm or a brook. To be decomposed, divested of light and stone, variable as the molecule, durable as the atom, heartless as the earth itself.”

This has been your Friday cake and quote.

Shout out to Dayn Perry. Always remember: Dayn Perry is everything, and Dayn Perry is everywhere. And thanks to @BBaxTwitts for the donuts.

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Navin Vaswani is a replacement-level writer. Follow him on Twitter.

20 Responses to “Your Friday Cake and Quote”

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  1. Aaron says:

    Of course, we’ll never see these donuts for sale at the Rogers Centre, because Tim Hortons would never open a location in the Rogers Centre, because (despite the cat piss coffee and microwaved food they peddle) Tim Hortons is fucking awesome, because they refuse to jack up their prices for anyone, anywhere.

    Like the Tim Hortons at the Air Canada Centre, where one-dollar donuts stand in stark contrast to Pizza Pizza’s seven-dollar slices of cardboard crap. Or the Tim Hortons at the movie theatre I worked at when I was a kid – which isn’t there anymore, because it was impossible for the concession to sell five-dollar soft drinks when two-dollar Iced Capps were just ten feet away.

    Having once paid eight dollars for a Canada’s Wonderland Starbucks latte, and thirteen dollars for a Niagara Falls Burger King Whopper combo, it’s nice to know that there’s still a company that respects its customers too much to fleece them – even if one of its staff members once microwaved chicken in a disposable coffee cup before serving it to me in a wrap.

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    • Why is there no apostrophe in “Tim Hortons”?

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      • Torgen says:

        The chain does not belong to Horton. Each restaurant is Horton himself, cloned in restaurant form.

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      • Torgen says:

        The real question is, “Why isn’t it Tims Horton?”

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      • jiec says:

        It used to be Tim Horton’s, but the Quebec language police didn’t like it. Adding the apostrophe changes it from a name to an English phrase, so they would have had to be “Chez Tim Horton” or something along those lines. They just decided to make it Tim Hortons, which means nothing in English and does not violate Quebec signage laws. See here:
        “Some older locations retain signage with the company’s name including a possessive apostrophe, despite the fact that the official styling of the company’s name has been Tim Hortons, without an apostrophe, for at least a decade.[26] The company had removed the apostrophe after signs using the apostrophe were considered to be breaking the language sign laws of the Province of Quebec in 1993. The removal of the apostrophe allowed the company to have one common sign image across Canada.”

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      • Aaron says:

        Québec language laws.

        If you’re an international corporation (e.g. McDonald’s) doing business in Québec, you’re allowed to use your international brand name; but if you’re a Canadian corporation doing business in Québec, you’re required to use a French brand name.

        During the infamous “war on the apostrophe” about 20 years ago, many Canadian brands opted to simply drop it altogether. It’s significantly more expensive to maintain two brand names – not to mention the additional cost of breaking the law when you accidentally ship English goods to Québec.

        Also, Québec language laws are stupid.

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    • Skin Blues says:

      I’m sure that Tim Hortons does not are about the customers. It’s either a marketing strategy or lazy bureaucratic byproduct. Would anybody buy that crappy coffee if it cost more than $1.50 anyway??

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    • Greg says:

      I’m almost positive that there are Tim’s locations in the 100 level of the Rogers Centre now. I know I have seen some random people walking around with coffee when I have been at games this year, and that would be the perfect firm of Canadiana just mixed in there.

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      • Aaron says:

        You could be right; my Flex Pack’s on the 200 level, and I rarely venture downstairs.

        That said, they also let you walk right in with coffees and other outside food and drinks – about the only thing they don’t allow is outside bottled beverages. Little-known, but very useful, fact! It’s also why the hot dog carts outside do such killer business; because you can walk in with it.

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    • Adrock says:

      Sorry to be the bearer of bad (good?) news, but there is a Tim Hortons at Skydome. It’s co-located with a Cold Stone Creamery on the 100-level. There may also be one on the 500-level, but I haven’t been up there in a while.

      If I recall correctly, they only sell beverages at that Tim Hortons, not doughnuts, but the prices are the standard Timmy’s prices.

      I dislike Rogers as much as the next guy, but you are disliking them under false pretences here.

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  2. The Return of Rambo Diaz says:

    In lieu of cigarette, Mr. Met reaches for one of these after culminating hubba hubba and smiles, thinking of Travis d’Arnuad.

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  3. Patrick Samuel Deduno says:

    I feel like this is obvious, but is a doughnut necessarily a cake?

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    • jiec says:

      I’m no expert, but I think doughnuts are fried and cakes are baked? Seriously venturing into the unknown here…

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    • AC of DC says:

      In common use, from some sort of layman’s dictionary, a doughnut may qualify as a cake. However, in the argot of culinary circles, they are distinct — or so has insisted every baker and cook I’ve known. It makes sense, and Mr. Vaswani’s opening statement appears to be in accord with the latter sentiment.

      Secondly: Henry Miller? Sometimes you NotGraphsers seem a decent lot, and sometimes you really let a chap down.

      Lastly: At today’s exchange rate that besprinkled wonderment clocks in at a mere $1.13 (plus applicable taxes and fees) in USD! Toronto, here we come.

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  4. MTUCache says:

    Wow… my eyes have been opened here. There’s people out there who DON’T like Tim Hortons??

    In Detroit that place is the bomb-diggity. If there’s one thing I miss about living in Detroit (besides the free houses and 1-day work weeks) it’s a Double Double in the morning.

    Tim Hortons is infinitely better than the swill they sell at DD, and a quarter of the price of Starbucks. What’s not to like about that (besides all the old people hanging out inside)?

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  5. yaboynate says:

    You know… you’re NOT Dayne Perry.

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    • Nav says:

      Thank you for the heads up. Seriously. Not sure where I’d be without such sage observations.

      And it’s Dayn Perry. A little respect, please.

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