Roto Riteup — Presented by DraftKings: April 30, 2014

The present Roto Riteup author made an appearance on the River Ave Blues podcast, which you should listen to if you like to hear me say disparaging things about people who make way more money than me.

On today’s agenda:
1. A.J. Griffin needs Tommy John surgery
2. Mike Minor back Friday
3. Archie Bradley to the DL
4. Manny Machado to be activated Tuesday
5. Tigers’ fans rejoice: Hector Noesi to start today
6. The Freaky Five

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A.J. Griffin needs Tommy John surgery
For some reason or another, this wasn’t officially the case until yesterday, but whatever. Griffin has been on the sidelines since the middle of Spring Training with elbow troubles, so now he’s finally going to do something about it by going under the knife. There’s a slight chance the right-hander will be ready to return by the start of the 2015 season, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

Mike Minor back Friday
Minor will return from the DL on Friday after dealing with injuries to his shoulder and peener. Minor will get to face the Giants, whom I guess are a decent team to face in your first start back. The lank left-hander was a very good start last season, throwing 200 innings with a 3.21 ERA and 1.09 WHIP, so here’s to hoping he’ll be very good again this year.

Archie Bradley to the DL
The right-handed pitching prospect int he Diamonbacks system is going on the 7-day DL with a flexor strain in his throwing elbow — an injury that may have contributed to his recent struggles in Triple-A. Bradley’s MRI showed no problems with his UCL, so for now he’ll simply rest for a couple weeks and then begin a throwing program. If healthy, Bradley likely would have been in the majors towards the middle of June, but now that’s a doubtful proposition.

Manny Machado to be activated Tuesday
Finally! Masculine Manny Machado will be back with the Orioles on Tuesday, completing his comeback from a nasty knee injuries to the delite of many a man.

Tigers’ fans rejoice: Hector Noesi to start today
That’s right, Detroit, you will get the chance to tee off on Noesi in the not-so-friendly confines of The Cell. As you’ll see in my daily picks below, this is a lopsided matchups that’s only going to end badly for Chicago. The only downside for Detroit is that they might chase him too early and avoid getting the full Hector Noesi experience.

The Freaky Five

SP: Tony Cingrani, $9,400
Cingrani faces a floundering Cubs offense, and even though it’s in Cincy, he should be fine.

SP: Drew Hutchison, $6,900
Hutch can be electric, and he’s away from Toronto again a poor Royals O.

C: Alex Avila, $?
3B/OF: Nick Castellanos, $?
OF: Torii Hunter, $?

Apparently these players aren’t available in DraftKings today because of course not, but Hector Noesi, you guys.

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Zach is the creator and co-author of RotoGraphs’ Roto Riteup series, and RotoGraphs’ second-longest tenured writer. You can follow him on twitter.

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Everybody should get the Hector Noesi experience at least once in their lifetime. Not unlike a good massage, it invigorates you and gives you hope that you are still the player you once were.