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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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oldseacaptain
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Sorry, I have no time to read your petty words as I practice gurgling the phrase “#KeepNotGraphs” with what liquid remained at the bottom of this here bottle of whiskey.

You did this to me, NotGraphs.